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Tuesday August 19th
So, Chris
says that since I just recently posted a three part rant about how
life sucks, I should write something about the good things that have
happened over the past few days. I'm not sure if I can keep it
positive, but I'm willing to give it a try.
The
Morgan's no longer own the house on Salem Court. We have officially
sold the first real home we've had since we got married. It was a
sad day, a happy day but a very frustrating day. See? Can't even go
three sentences without finding the negative...The girl that bought
the house seems really nice and we wish her the best of happiness in
our former home. She got a great deal on it even in it's old and "in
need of repair" state. Chris and I on the other hand got screwed
royally and didn't even get a thank you or even a cigarette after
the screwing. The house was sold at an embarrassingly low price and
at the last minute we found that the sale price was actually put on
the contract at $1000 less than agreed. After fighting it for 2 days
we found out that if we fought it too much, it'd have to go through
underwriting again and could possibly be denied and/or postponed
again; something we could not afford. After signing the paperwork
the Realtor of the buyer asked when they'd receive the home warranty
paperwork. Our loan officer said, within a few hours. A few hours
later, we get a phone call from the loan officer informing us that
they were going to have to deduct another $400 from our paltry
settlement because they failed to add the home warranty. OH HELL NO!
I bitched, screamed hollered and threatened. Why is it okay for them
to remove more money from our side when they wouldn't even think of
giving us back our money they screwed us on in the purchase price?
My Realtor made some phone calls and convinced the buyers that it
would be smart to just eat the $400 since they already got $1000
more than they should have. I've learned a lot over the course of
this sale. I won't make the same mistakes again
SO, Chris
and I spent Saturday driving around searching for deals with the
little bit of money we had for furniture. We were able to give dad
75% of what we owe him with the promise that the remainder will be
paid by the end of this year. So, I was able to get my beautiful
dining room table FINALLY! We knew we didn't have enough to get
Becca's bedroom suite that was supposed to be our first purchase so
we looked and found the perfect dining room table for our dining
room. No china cabinet/hutch yet but at least we have the table. It
looks AWESOME - as Chris stayed up until 3am to put it all together.
After finding a mattress outlet, we found Becca an awesome mattress
and box spring since she's been dealing with a crappy mattress for
months. We were so proud of ourselves and so pumped we decided to
try our luck at Rooms to Go, just to...see... maybe?
So we head
over to Rooms to Go and strike gold with an awesome salesman! Gary
ROCKS! Salesman are creepy to me because they always make me feel
like I'm beneath them. Gary was so totally cool he even made our
small credit approval seem like MILLIONS! Our credit was just good
enough to actually do what we wanted to do. We bought Becca the
prettiest bedroom suite. Of course, it's not black like she
requested but it is a nice set with a headboard, foot board,
dresser/mirror and nightstand. AND we had just enough for Chris and
I to get greedy and buy ourselves and AWESOME/AMAZING new mattress
and box spring. It's SOOOOO Soft and comfy!!! After all that
success, we headed over to Wally World to pick up sheets/comforters,
bathroom accessories, computer desk and bookcase for Becca. We wiped
out our profit in less then 12 hours! WOO HOO! We're back to being
poor but the added stress of the 2nd house is finally off
our minds. We still need furniture downstairs but... I'm looking to
plan a party very soon. Keep your calendars open for Saturday
September 13th!!! Invites will be sent out this week.
Becca
started school yesterday and with all the stress of the past week, I
forgot to call to find out her bus information; so I had to take her
and pick her up from school yesterday. She is so totally stoked for
school this year. She gets her "eye candy" teacher for 1st
period and says the rest of her teachers are absolutely hysterical.
She's pretty tickled that she's in Algebra 1 this year in 7th
grade and Liz is in Algebra 1 this year as a 9th grader.
Two of her classes (I believe just 2) are actually high school
credit. If that makes sense? She's taking Art appreciation as one of
her electives which consists of 2 quarters of painting and drawing
and 2 quarters of sculpting and ceramics. She loves her schedule,
loves her teachers and plans to have perfect attendance this year
because she's afraid to miss anything. We're heading to Orlando next
weekend (30th) for her birthday and were supposed to
leave on Friday morning. She informed me last night that we were to
pick her up at school at 3 because she didn't want to miss school.
WOW! I'm impressed.
I finally
talked to my brother this morning. I haven't talked to him in
forever except for snotty emails every once in a while or when we
had to make arrangements for Liz to come down. Of course, he only
called because he thought there was something wrong with me. I guess
beggars can't be choosers. I want him to call because he wants to
talk with me, not because he's concerned over my health. Oh well...
At least he talked to me.
Karen on
the other hand... is a pain in the ass. Actually she's been pretty
cool lately. She spent the day with me yesterday because she was
tired of being cooped up in her house. She's going to house sit
while we're in Orlando and take care of the dogs so we don't have to
leave them outside in this heat. It gives us the peace of mind the
dogs are safe and gives her a vacation from the crazy people at her
house.
Liz is a
little upset right now. Her horse Teja had a baby August 3rd
and Liz was so tickled. It's a baby girl and she was going to call
her Little T. Liz is pretty rough with the baby and is upset that
the horse constantly kicks her or head butts her. Well, if you are
going to be rough, I'd assume, you'd get what you deserve. Anyway,
she's calmed down herself and the horse now and they are getting
along great. Saturday while Liz was brushing down the horse, she
made a terrible discovery (her words not mine). Her baby girl has a
PEE PEE! Little T is not a girl... but a boy and Liz is PISSED! Of
course, the poor thing definitely has a complex because Liz said it
was so tiny she never noticed it before. BRAT! She then informed me
she hoped it grew because it was embarrassingly small. That girl has
no tact!
Wednesday August 13th Part 3 of 3
WARNING:
This post contains adult language, violence, fury and hysterics.
Readers be warned.....
Could
this day get any worse? Don't answer that because I don't know if I
can take much more. My previous posts for today were that of a woman
hurting and emotional. This post is that of a woman who has blown
her top and is ready to turn the air blue with her anger and
frustration.
I
HATE MY SIBLINGS AND THEIR PARTNERS! THEY SUCK!
So,
as I said before, this month totally sucks. It's just an emotional
roller coaster for me and bad things always seem to happen. My uncle
just passed away this morning and from that moment on this day has
just totally sucked. My sister called this morning to bitch and moan
about her living arrangements. I listened and gave her the sympathy
she was looking for. She then asked me why Becca mentioned she was
changing her birthdate and I "stupidly" told her the situation with
my snotty assed brother and how hurt Becca was that he never visits.
Dumb of me to tell her mine and Becca's woes because it
automatically turned into: ME ME ME, I, I, I,. She was amazing.
Bitched about how she gave her son to Jerry with the understanding
he'd still know her as his mother. She hasn't seen him in 6 years,
she never talks to him, never gets pictures of him. Why is Jerry so
mean to her? And so on... She just cut loose, forgetting that I was
telling her about my sad daughter who misses her Uncle and cousin.
Drama at it's best here.
So,
after talking with her or should I say listening to her rant for 30
minutes, I see I have a call waiting and it's my dad. I get on the
phone with him, and he then informs me I need to inform Karen of my
uncles passing. Are you kidding? Why me? I had to listen to her last
night while she cried over the phone when she heard he was in the
hospital. How she loved him and prayed he wouldn't die. She loved
him so much, she hasn't seen him since Mom's funeral and before
that, I believe it was when she was 17. All these years with one
visit and I have to deal with listening to her last night crying
hysterically over him being in the hospital and now have to tell her
he died. But, I realize dad doesn't want to deal with it so I take
one for the team and do it. It was worse than I thought. Oh the
drama, crying hysterically and more and more drama. I can't handle
this. I finally get off the phone with her and the phone rings... my
savior... Chris is on the phone. Poor baby, he's exhausted after
working all night and I break down blowing off steam about my stupid
sister, my asshole of a brother and all the drama. As I'm sitting
there talking with him, I hit the send/receive button on my email.
Sitting so nicely in my inbox is an email from Scott, Jerry's
partner.
The
rage spews out of me before I even read the contents because I see
it's a forward of the letter Becca wrote to her Uncle this past
weekend. I know what it is before I even read it and Chris
immediately tells me to forward it to him and delete it. Don't read
it. OH NO! Teresa's gonna read it and respond to it. Basically, he
responds to Becca's heartache by explaining that her Aunt Karen is a
manipulative bitch that can't be trusted. They fear for Jeremy's
life and that is why they refuse to return to Florida. And then, he
turns it around and explains that the death of a parent (or any
family member) is crushing to some people; so crushing that they
can't bear the memories of their life. He tells my 11 (soon to be
12) year old daughter that her Uncle is just so devastated over the
loss of his mother that he can't bear to be in the same state where
she died. The pain is just too crushing for him.
WHAT
FUCKING BULLSHIT IS THIS? I wanted to throw my computer out the
fucking window I was so pissed. Jerry hasn't been to Florida for 8
years. Mom died 6 years ago. What about the previous 2 years? What's
the fucking deal? He makes excuses not to go to my dad's house in
PA, he tells us he's coming here then cancels at the last minute. We
try to schedule times to go to Atlanta and he is always busy. Is he
so devastated by the death of his mother that he can't bear to be
near any of his family or is he just using Karen and Mom as an
excuse to blow us all off? I'm up for door number two, Alex! The
email said that Jerry was just so close to his mother that he can't
bear the pain. He was so close that he didn't see her for 2 years
before her death???? Give me a fucking break! I told Becca it was
all excuses. All lies. And that's the truth. Either that or he's a
bigger wuss than I thought. And then letting Karen dictate his life
like this is crazy. If he wants nothing to do with us, his blood
family, then just have the fucking balls to tell us. Don't make
someone else do the fucking dirty work. This is twice now that I've
had to get a response from Scott because my brother was too much of
a wimp to tell me it out straight. Fucking unbelievable. I love him
but I'm so disgusted with him right now I could hit him.
And
on a funny, yet sad note...
Becca
has put in a request....
WANTED
2 Gay Uncles
Must be fun, crazy and LOVE
ME...
"You gotta be gay cause gay
guys are amazing! And entertaining...."
She
says since the two she has suck at being uncles, she's setting up
auditions for new ones. The girl is a nut cake; but at least she can
laugh about it.
And
on to the rest of my family. Dad called me with the news that the
funeral will be held on Friday. That of course means I won't be able
to attend because unfortunately, I HAVE to be here for the closing
of the old house. He also informed me that he was the go-between for
my cousin JR and his sisters; my uncles kids. A few years ago when
my Uncle was dying and on life support my cousin JR said to pull the
plug; the girls refused to do it and for the past few years my uncle
has been a mere shell of himself. Who was right? Who was wrong? No
one knows. Since then, JR and his sisters don't speak. I guess I
should say, the sisters don't speak to him. He found out about his
father's passing from my dad. He found out the funeral arrangements
from my dad and when he tried to ask his sisters what he needed to
do, they said nothing and hung up on him. People.... Get over
yourselves! This is crazy! I've decided I want to be an orphan
because right now I am so ashamed of my family. They are so
disappointing to me!
I
mean no cruelty to my brother or my sister. Their pain is true just
as mine is. But, I moved on with my life. Why can't they? GUILT
MAYBE? I just wish they'd think of others pain while they suffer
with their own. Becca should not be told that the pain is so
excruciating that even after 6 years it's still a crippling blow.
Give me a break. I loved my mother, I love her! She was my mom, my
best friend and I hurt. We did EVERYTHING together, everyday, all
day. But, my sadness and pain makes me want to get closer to my
remaining family members, even the ones I don't like because
everyday is precious and should be cherished. My brother is pushing
us all away, he doesn't even know us anymore and it's sad, so very
sad. I wonder how Jerry will feel when Liz and Becca graduate from
high school and college and get married and he's not invited
because... why waste the effort with the invite when they know he
doesn't care enough to visit while they are young? It just breaks my
heart.
Wednesday August 13th Part 2 of 3
And with all that emotion, I wasn't even able to finish talking
about the rest of the goings on here at Morgan Castle.
With
fingers crossed and positive thinking, it looks like we'll close on
the old house this coming Friday. WOO HOO! We cut the price down to
an embarrassing amount but it looks like we may just get through
this and have about $50 out of the sale to celebrate with. Another
WOO HOO (insert sarcasm here). The month has been crazy. And we're
only half way through it. I've had Girl Scout trainings twice this
month, two Girl Scout functions already along with a service
meeting. We've had orientation with Becca's school - and she's
pissed to find out she doesn't have a lot of classes with her
friends. BUT, she's got first period with the "HAWTEST teacher in
the school". At orientation, most of her friends were shocked at how
much she's changed this summer. She's lost a lot of weight and she's
grown a foot or two. Well, maybe not that much, but she's officially
5'2" and loving the fact that she's looking me right straight in the
eye. BRAT! I think we're both looking forward to that first day of
school.
I mailed
off all my paperwork to get started on my license. Hopefully, with
in the next couple of weeks, I'll be able to schedule the inspection
with my counselor at the Dept of C&F and maybe just maybe I'll be
able to get my business started before the end of the year. Of
course, I need furniture before I do that, and stuff for the kids.
If anyone has any old playpens in good condition that they'd like to
get rid of for a cheap, cheap price, let me know. I'm looking for 2
or 3. Baby toys too from infant to 4 years old.
Oh, it
just popped into my head again as I was trying to think of what to
write. You know how previously I mentioned my temper tantrum about
my brother? Well, the kicker was... the one thing that totally set
me off was that he said...in his words... "I'd really like us to get
together soon so that we could get a group picture of the three kids
done for dad." OH MY GOD I wanted to beat him over the head!! What
have I constantly asked for? The only thing I ever want in this
world? Pictures of my nieces and nephews! It's like fucking pulling
teeth to get pictures of them. I faithfully mail them out 2-3 times
a year - fall pictures, spring pictures, Father Daughter Ball,
annual of Bec, J & Liz. EVERY YEAR! You wanna know the last time I
got one of Jeremy? 3 years ago AND I TOOK THE DAMN THING! GRRRRR He
makes me so mad. My only dream, absolute dream is to get a group
picture of Liz, Becca, Jeremy, Gavin, Nicholas and Jordan all
together. Hell, I'd be happy with 2 group pictures - the Provin side
and the Morgan side. So for him to mention that and be the one
that's holding us back from getting it PISSES ME OFF! I've begged
for this to get done and even said I'd pay for it, like I do with
Bec, J and Liz every year. But he never visits and when we ask him
if we can come up, he always has plans. He sucks and I'm so mad at
him!
Whew,
didn't I tell you I hate this month? I store up all my anger,
frustration, sadness and PMS for this nasty month. There's probably
a lot more that I should be saying but, I think I've spewed enough
for one day. HAPPY WEDNESDAY and keep your fingers crossed for us!!!
Wednesday August 13th
Part 1 of 3
So much
has happened in the past few weeks. The days just fly by in this
nasty month of August. Becca and I have decided from now on the
month of August doesn't exist because for the past few years all
it's brought us is heartache. Becca and I had a good cry this
weekend and I finally realized that I really need to curb my temper
tantrums around her. She shouldn't see my melt downs over my
inconsiderate family members. My brother has decided to grace my dad
with his presence next weekend after not visiting for 3 years. He's
always planning to visit dad and then at the last minute makes some
lame excuse as to why he can't make it up there. Same here for us.
He always says he's coming down to visit then changes his mind. He
hasn't been to Florida for a true visit in 8 years. The only time in
the 8 years he's actually come to Florida is when mom passed away 6
years ago this nasty evil month. We haven't seen him at all for 3
years.
Becca's
birthday is this month and the only thing she asked for was for Liz
to be here. After spending the summer with Liz, the girls seem to
have taken it hard when Liz went home. Becca mopes around the house
wishing Liz were here sometimes even tearing up. Dad said Liz
bitches and moans because when she cracks a joke and he doesn't get
it, she throws a fit and says, "Only Becca gets it." So, Becca said
all she wants is Liz for her birthday and we're working hard for her
to get her wish. Jerry's plan to go to dad's would allow Liz to fly
home to Atlanta with him and then only have the 45 minute flight to
Jax alone. Then on the way back, I'd drop her off here, Jerry would
meet her in Atlanta for the layover and Dad would get her in
Pittsburgh. This will be her first time flying alone and let's just
say we're all a little nervous about that. Anyway, Jerry then
mentions to my dad that he was planning on coming down to Jax to
surprise Becca on her birthday and was disappointed to hear we'd be
out of town for her birthday and not having an actual party for her.
It was stupid of dad to tell me this because my wonderful
well-contained temper flew out and I spewed my vile to Chris not
realizing Becca was sitting in her room crying because not only was
I upset and hurting but now she is because she agrees that Jerry
doesn't love us because he NEVER comes to see us. He lets Aunt Karen
hold so much power over him that he can't handle driving 6 hours to
Florida to visit us. Dramatic yeah, but I dearly adore my brother
and it breaks my heart that he uses Karen as an excuse to never
visit me. So, we have a good cry because of course as soon as I see
the tears I break down myself and Becca decides to write my brother
an email. Basically telling him she's hurt that he would promise to
visit and never visits, why does he let Karen dictate his life and
that she doesn't want him visiting now because she'll never know if
it's because she guilted him into it or if he was doing it because
he wanted to. Becca is amazing. And then after all this, she
informed me her birthday was no longer August 30th. It
was September 12th (the day she was supposed to be born)
and that from now on, she was going to ignore the month of August
because it holds too much pain. We're so dramatic here! So, I'm
hoping to have the house settled and money in our pocket before
September 12th and then I will try to throw together some
kind of birthday party for her to celebrate her new birthday. She
deserves it as she's an amazing girl.
Because of
having to pay 2 mortgages and 2 electric bills, money has been tight
and so of course as usual, school shopping is left to the last
minute. Our plan was to get up Saturday and make a day of shopping
for clothes and finishing off the school supply list. We were then
going to get a manicure and pedicure, have a nice lunch and just
spend the day together. Instead, it looks like after the closing of
the house on Friday, we'll be making a quick trip up to Delaware for
a funeral. I got news this morning that my Uncle John passed away
over night. He was my dad's oldest brother and he was an amazing
man. He loved to fish, crack jokes and play with his hunting dogs.
We actually lost him 3 years ago to Alzheimer's and Dementia. After
a bad surgery, worse medications and selfish kids, his mind was
never the same but still even though he was just a shell of the man
I knew and loved, it breaks my heart that I'll never see him again.
I only got to see him once a year when we had our annual reunions,
but that was okay because we made those visits count. Another rip in
my heart this month as I'll never hear, "How ya makin' out kid?"
again.
RIP
Uncle Johnny
We love you
06/14/24 - 08/12/08
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