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Thursday, 7.31.8
I was listening
to a podcast/radio show and they got an e-mail saying, "now don't
read too much into this but..." The hosts of the show correctly
interpreted this as, "I am fully aware that everything I am about to
say is complete and utter bullshit but I am going to say it
anyway..." It got me to thinking, I should put that phrase on the
home page for this site. I KNOW that I am full of crap, I KNOW that
I go off on a rant with little to no knowledge of what I am ranting
about. I know it, you know it, and we're all having fun here. So,
don't read too deeply into this but...
If the rumors
are true, I have just under a year to stalk and kill Johnny Depp and
Angelina Jolie. DK3; Riddler/Catwoman. But I'll just hope that the
rumors are a bunch of crap. It'll save me money on airfare and
bullets... It's taking all my strength to hold back blind judgment
on Bale in T4. Doesn't anyone know when to stop?
Wednesday, 7.30.8 - PART 2
Futility.
That's the word I was looking for earlier. Defeat might be a little
too strong. Not too strong for how I felt at the moment but in the
long run, defeat wouldn't be right. I don't have the hardest job in
the world but for a guy that loves his family and friends, it might
be one of the hardest things for me to be away ALL the time like
this. And to think that all my efforts resulted in nothing...
Futility. Yeah, that's the right word.
So now that
this whole thing has brought me down, I have been dwelling on words
like Futile and Dream and Why. I have been thinking a lot about
"why" and have decided that it might be the more important word I've
been contemplating. Futility happens to just about everyone.
Dreams vary from person to person and even within a person dreams
change from moment to moment. When I was a kid my dream was to own
a farm in Georgia and drive around in an orange Dodge with my friend
Chip. Dreams change, life doesn't always go your way and in the end
you are left with, WHY.
I think "why"
is what separates people into groups. In a good way. It makes us
define ourselves. It makes us look at our goals and dreams. It
also makes us look our greed in the face and determine if the greed
has become too much. Why do I get up and go to work every day? Why
do I do the best I can, even when it doesn't count? Why do I always
strive for better? Why do I care?
I do these
things because that's who I am. It defines me. I work hard, I do
my best, I want better. Better out of me and better out of those
around me. The latter part of that is a major source of my
frustration... If I decided to quit my job and started working at a
non-though job, it wouldn't be me. It I stopped pushing the limits,
it wouldn't be me. If I stopped caring, you'd all notice it in a
heartbeat, because that just isn't me.
So please
pardon my outburst from earlier, everyone gets a chance to blow off
some frustration don't they? I'll get up from the tantrum I was
throwing on the floor, dust myself off and we'll get through this.
If I had to find a silver lining I'd have to think of it like this:
Teresa wanted those hardwood floors so badly, now that she's got
them, why cover them all up with new furniture and stuff? And it
will change soon enough. We'll fill the house a little at a time
and it will all work out in the end. I was just a bit pissed off
when we've gone from having enough to load up with cool stuff, to
wondering if we'll have enough left to stay out of debt. And we've
still got our big empty house. Teresa busted my self-righteous
anger bubble earlier by reminding me that it may be empty of crap
but it's full of love. Cheesy line but how do you stay angry after
that?
Wednesday, 7.30.8
I can't come up
with an appropriate line here. I start typing and I end up deleting
it because I just can't get an entire thought out without
screaming! The only consistent line I keep typing is "Fuck
everything!" in all caps and about a hundred exclamation points
behind it.
Nobody with
half a brain ever said life was fair. Some try to manipulate the
odds by laying their burdens on some kind of supreme being, others
roll the dice and still others work toward their goals. But
somewhere, sometime, your hard work has to pay off. Otherwise, why
work at all?
We are in the
new house. We have had several false starts on selling the old
house. Each time it fell through it was because of some issue out
of my control. Now it's been several months of us paying both
mortgages, both utilities and I'm just about tapped out. The latest
buyers are ready to move in, already planning their first repairs
and all. But the paperwork is in the hands of some douchebag in a
loan office that is complaining that she is overworked and can't get
to our paperwork for another 30 days. We were supposed to close
tomorrow and we just get word today that we're another month away.
Another month of double payments, another month for the buyers to
lose interest. All of our dreams of getting new furniture, big
televisions and toys vanished a couple of months ago. Now we are
just hoping to be able to hang on to the house without losing
everything we already have. We are in deep shit here folks.
There are
millions of others out there with problems so much worse than ours
and a lot of them are in those situations for no reason other than
chance. And that is JUST my point. Why bother trying? Why do we
make the attempt to climb the pile if we have no say in making it to
the top? My current dilemma is financial and of my own doing. But
I'm working toward a goal. If my hard work was sufficient to get us
here but the final decision is left in the hands of fate, why did I
even bother trying? If my odds are just as good as the guy who
wakes and bakes before working a shift at the local McDonalds, why
the fuck do I work so hard?
I am dying out
here. I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss my life! But I'm
working hard so my family can have fun and enjoy life. Do we need a
bigger house? No, but with all the hard work I'm doing I should be
able to get a thing or two that we want. And now everything is
slipping away because some bitch in an office doesn't want to do a
little extra paperwork. I have no control over this woman. I have
no control over the outcome of this situation. I have busted my ass
to get here and now my entire financial future is a series of coin
flips.
All she ever
wanted was this house and some nice furniture. I can't even give
her that much. I work toward it but it feels like climbing a pile
of wet sand, the closer I get to the top, the more sand crumbles and
falls down on top of me. I really am near the point of throwing up
my arms, grabbing the things we need and living in a cardboard box
downtown. Why not? Hard work hasn't rewarded me with anything yet,
maybe apathy and despair will. Fuck the world, fuck
everything!
This sucks!
Tuesday, 7.29.8
You ever listen
to the radio and you realize you have it up too loud? And then a
few songs later you realize it is still up too loud. At that point
you have to wonder how loud it was to begin with and you begin to
contemplate life with hearing aids.
There is no
"Rush" song that exists that you can't sample ten seconds from and
have it identified as Rush. Any novice Rush fan could identify the
song, a veteran Rush fan could tell you which 10-year period the
song came out during and the expert level Rush fan will tell you
what color shirt Neil Peart was wearing when he wrote the lyrics...
They have a sound and style that is unique. But they never get old
for me. Oh sure there are some crappy songs but even when it's bad,
it's clean and proficient. Technically perfect. It's like opening
the back of a Swiss watch and admiring the gears.
I'm getting
real tired of all these trucks driving around with their DVD movie
screens down. I'm too busy trying to find out what they are
watching and I don't look at the road. I want to get one of these
installed and drive around with a Fellini film playing the whole
time, maybe I'll look cool like they do. One more thing, there is a
Yukon in front of me and they are playing the CareBears. When one
Care Bear gets excited and runs over to tell the other bear
something and is jumping up and down, it looks like he is humping
the other bear. Children's cartoons, fun.
Diet Mountain
Dew. What the fuck is the point? It has none of the sugar and none
of the buzz but it has a very similar label. I think the entire
point is for me to buy it at 3am, get two miles down the road and
taste this crap in the dark of the car. Then my blind rage will
keep me awake while I'm driving and not the caffeine. Don't these
people know why I'm buying this crap? What's next, diet Crack?
Monday, 7.28.8
I watched a
movie last night that pissed me off. So Chris is upset at a movie,
nothing new. It's not like they are doing a remake of RHPS or
anything... Oh wait, yes they are, spoke too soon...
But this one
pissed me off because it tried to beatify something stupid. I've
always said that if Teresa ever got tired of my shit and I ended up
alone, I'd like to run off and live in the woods somewhere. Build a
bunker and stock up enough to live the winters snowed in and
isolated. So a few years back I read a few books about that kind of
stuff and one of them was "Into the Wild" by John Krakauer. He's a
big mountain climber and all of that but this was the story about a
kid who decides to take off and live in the wilds of Alaska.
Sounded like a good story to me until I read this book. Chris
McCandless was a rich kid who got caught up in college with the idea
of world suffering and decided to punish Mommy and Daddy by
disappearing and running off to live as a bum. He sends the
remainder of his college fund to charity, loses his car, burns his
pocket money and then lives for a couple of years as a bum in the
southwest, stealing what he needs to survive. When he finally
decides to go to Alaska, he sets out with inadequate supplies and no
exit strategy other than make it to the ocean. He soon discovers
that the melting snow from the mountains travels downhill toward him
and soon the fields that he planned to cross to get to the ocean are
marshlands. He should have died from exposure within a week but he
found a hunter's shelter that he set up as his new base camp. He
lived just fine living the life of the tortured mind, happy to leave
the world behind. Until things started going wrong.
He started
running out of food because he didn't know how to hunt. Not many
hunters out there going after moose with a .22 cal rifle. He
thought he'd live the entire year on a 10 pound bag of rice,
whatever plants and berries he could find and whatever game he could
kill with his 22 cal. When he realized how much deep shit he's in
and decides to head home he couldn't cross the river because it was
much higher than when he crossed it before the thaw. The movie
portrayed him as master of his domain, living happily and exploring
the area. If he was really this good, how then, would he miss a
rope and pulley bucket system strung up across the river just half a
mile from his camp? Oh the woods are a big place and I can
understand not seeing something even only a hundred yards away
through the trees but it was strung up across the river! How do you
miss a thing like this? A little exploring might have saved his
life! They think he either starved to death, ate the wrong seeds or
ate the right seeds that had gone bad, both of the seed
possibilities makes you starve to death. So in any case, if you are
starving, how do you not hunt or fish any further than a half mile
from your camp? Was he waiting for the animals to climb up on his
plate? He was stealing supplies from nearby hunting camps so he was
getting out from camp a few miles. Did he never think to go up/down
river and look for a better place to cross?
No, he was a
fucking idiot! You don't go into the Alaskan Interior without the
right gear. That gear should include a map, maybe a compass. And I
don't care how fucked up your home life was, your family at the very
least deserves a phone call or a post card that says, "I hate you,
I'm not coming home, don't come looking for me." If not his
parents, he could have contacted his sister whom he claimed to
love.
The movie
portrays him as a lost soul, innocent and harmless. A brilliant kid
who turned his back on society and technology but he was more of an
average kid who excelled in certain areas, none of which included
common sense or street smarts. They intentionally left out the
constant thievery and the fact that he carried a pistol with him
while living as an LA street bum. If I were living on the road I'd
carry a gun too but they left that out to make the character more
sympathetic. It's much easier to feel sorry for the guy if he acts
like Gandhi. The movie made it look like he lived on his own and
shunned help but in the book he was always getting into some kind of
trouble and begging for help and handouts. Maybe he shouldn't have
burned all that money? Maybe he could have bought the supplies he
needed? Another thing the movie softened was the final note. His
final diary entry said something like, "I've lived a happy life, God
bless and goodbye." Or something like that. The movie put that
message on a large note on the side of the bus and zoomed out to
show the message and then faded out. In real life there was a large
note on the bus but the words were not of the final diary entry. It
was a literal cry for help, "Help! Starving and trapped. This is
not a joke. Please help!!!" It wouldn't have been such a touching
ending if they stuck to the truth would it? Another minor issue,
all the music in the movie was by Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam. It fit
perfectly because I fucking hate their sound and it always makes me
think of dirty, smelly grunge rocker bums and I can't stand them
either. Whiney bitches!
So if you watch
the movie you get a feeling of, "Awww, poor misunderstood kid got
trapped and died. I'm so sad the bright young explorer died so
young."
But of you read
the book you come out thinking, "What an asshole! He essentially
committed suicide and I don't feel bad for him! He treated his
family and friends like shit and thought he knew it all. It's a
shame he wasn't eaten by a bear thereby serving SOME kind of purpose
in life."
Wednesday, 7-23-8
The woes of the
working man. I should write something noble about those that work
hard and suffer the inequities of hard labor but I think a worse
thing might be living in the dark. Which is worse; knowing that you
are going to your boring job where you will toil for 8 to 10 hours
at a job you know, or being responsible for a job that is under
government scrutiny and changes by the minute? As Project Manager I
am the one who gets kicked in the ass if things go wrong but I never
know what is going to happen more than a week ahead of time.
Sometimes I don't even know what will happen thirty minutes from
now. I have plans of what will happen, I have ideas of what should
happen, but every time my phone rings, something changes.
Predictions of the future are fun in theory but when real life
happens, you have to be good at juggling.
I'm running
24/7 down here ever since Steve went to O'Hare and I just got the
news they are re-assigning Joe to Las Vegas so I'll be alone again
starting next week. My time card says 42 hours already and the real
time is more like 60 hours. I've slept about two to three hours a
night. I am starting to breath in coffee and exhale frustration.
The buzzing in my head is keeping me company, it's easier than being
completely alone. When the blurred movement I see from the corner
of my eye becomes a welcome visitor, it is time to get some sleep.
I am talking to phantom creeper demons that scurry along the
baseboards of the hotel walls.
So if I'm so
busy and sleep deprived, why am I talking to you? Because I have
about two more hours of report writing to get done but I needed a
small break. It is just after midnight and if I stared at that
report for five more minutes I would have found a way to make a
lethal weapon out of Styrofoam, a table leg and a ball point pen. I
would have gone door to door, eliminating the entire 6th
floor. Just me and the creeping demons, sitting quietly, drinking
coffee. Together and alone. Two more hours. Finish by 2:30am then
be up, dressed and out the door by 6am.
Back to the
report.
Monday, 7-21-8
Ugh, I guess it
was inevitable but I guess everything good has to have an ugly
side. The morning papers are making such a big deal about the fact
that Heath Ledger isn't breathing anymore. They are attributing the
big box office numbers to his death. And they might be right.
There are probably a lot of people running out to see this just
because of the morbid curiosity. I don't get it, he died of an OD
off screen. Now, if they had filmed his real death and somehow used
that in the movie, I could understand the morbid curiosity seekers.
Otherwise, it's just the last film he made. Every dead actor has
one.
But I'm getting
away from my point and I promise, I have one. Two actually. The
problem I have with the papers is they blur the line and confuse box
office numbers with whether the film is good or not. And in so
doing, they attribute Ledger's death to making this a good film.
Let's get this straight. I really don't like Heath Ledger. Didn't
like him when he was alive, don't give a shit that he's dead. But
DAMN was he an awesome Joker! He really played it well and I
believe credit is due. I am a fan of Christian Bale and I think I
remember him being in the movie somewhere... That's how much Ledger
stole the film. The part was written well and I'm guessing Ledger
read the "Killing Joke" storyline to prepare for this because THIS
is the dark, fucked up Joker I wanted to see.
As an amateur
comic book geek I like the fact that they went with the "Dark
Knight" line rather than churn out more light and fluffy Batman
movies. As long as they stay away from going too far like Earth-S,
Infinite Crisis and shit like that... Heath Ledger was great in the
movie but it has nothing to do with the fact that he died. He was a
strong character but the franchise can move along without him so
easily if you follow the storyline. They put him into Arkham for
his 10 year nap. Next.
The other point
I wanted to bring up was all of the backlash I'm reading about how
dark this movie is. People are complaining saying that they brought
their kids to the movie and it was too dark for them... Um, too
fucking bad! You are the parent, you should do a little research
into ANY movie before you take your poor little impressionable child
to see it. The movie trailer showed a psychotic, makeup wearing
murderer talking about cutting a guy up and feeding him to his
dogs. What did you think was going to happen? Batman would show up
and Cesar Romero would play a few card tricks and we'd all laugh as
a circus broke out? "Gee, I took my kid to see 'Behind the Green
Door' because I thought it was another 'Narnia' movie." Fucking
idiot. Too many parents expect the world to babysit their kids for
them. Fuck you, I'm raising my own, I have neither the time nor the
inclination to do your job for you. Look into the movie before
taking your kid if you're stupid enough to think they are upset at
the violence. At 12 years old, odds are that his X-Box has more
violence in it than you could ever imagine.
These people
are complaining about the very reason I liked this movie so much.
It was dark. They took "Batman" out of the title and
went with the "Dark Knight". The movie is all about the inner
turmoil Bruce Wayne feels and how being an unknown vigilante can
turn you into the villains you fight. Can you (should you) justify
becoming a villain even if you use those powers for good? He is
haunted by the depths he has gone to even if it is for the common
good. I'm not even doing it justice in this description. I
want to say that it is deeper than your average comic book movie,
but it is Batman after all. Ok, put it this way; if the issues
raised in this movie weren't by a guy in a rubber suit but by some
old, well respected actor, it would be seen as an insightful movie.
But at the end of the day, it's not Henry Fonda, it's just fucking
Batman.
Sunday, 7-20-8
Your benevolent Emperor has
issued another decree!
When Heath Ledger is awarded
the posthumous Oscar, it shall be presented by Jack Nicholson.
Go see The
Dark Knight. NOW!
Saturday, 7-19-8
Flipping
through the channels and I've got to tell you, there is nothing more
difficult to watch than some dumb white chick with no rhythm
imitating a musician. I got stuck on some home improvement HGTV
show where a guy had his drums in the basement and the show was
going to do a complete renovation of the room. The host of the show
made many, many little "rocker" imitations and gestures and I wanted
nothing more than to identify this chick, track her down and kill
her slowly with a dessert fork. Everything became a parody of
itself. The color red became "Rock and Roll Red"... "We're going to
illuminate the room in a rock and roll way"... shit like that. They
picked a silver leather couch because it looked "Rock star style".
I thought it looked like duct tape.
I turned it off
when they built a custom cabinet to take this guy's snare drums out
of their cases and show them off. I guess the expensive gig bags
the guy already had weren't good enough, we had to find a way for
them to collect dust and get damaged? She really has no clue... Of
course, the contractors tapped on everything from paint cans to
countertops and none of them hit anything resembling a rhythm.
Teresa, if you ever get the urge to go on a show like this without
me knowing, please kill me first before any of those assholes touch
my drums. I cringed every time I saw these brain dead fashion
designers holding one of the snares.
Some of you may
have seen the show and if it got worse don't tell me. I don't want
to know. The only time I ever felt so sickened by a lame white
chick imitating a real musician was watching Celine Dion sing and
play air guitar with AC/DC's "Shook Me All Night Long". No shit,
look it up on YouTube. Complete with the Dio horns, high leg kicks
and everything. You will scratch your eyes out and pour acid in
your ears. Difficult to watch does not even come close to how
fucked up that was. I still have nightmares.
Friday, 7-18-8
When you are holding Ac, Jc and the
flop shows Qc, 7c and 3c, you bet well. Not too high, you don't
want to scare any money off the pot. You have the flush to the Ace,
odds are in your favor.
When the bet is raised and re-raised
for high stakes and you are low chip-man in the hand, you go all
in. They took the bait, reel them in.
When the guy who raised is the
only other guy that stays in and he shows his Qd, 4s, he will moan and
you are allowed to crack a smile. He was fishing and you got him.
The table will break into peels of laughter and you will get two or
three high fives for bringing down the big card shark.
Of course, the last two cards will
always be 3d and 3h.
He doesn't know it... you don't know
it... but the cards ALWAYS know it.
This little lesson cost me $248
tonight. I pass this knowledge on to you for free.
You may buy-in small and build up a
large chip empire
but when it's time to go home the cards will tell you
so.
Wednesday, 7-16-8
It's actually
early Thursday morning and as tired as I am, I have to write this
one up before I talk myself into believing it was a hallucination.
Some people ask
why all this weird shit keeps happening to me. Some people have
gone so far as to say that I make some of it up or over embellish
simple things. I never really thought about it until tonight. The
best I can answer is that I am always bouncing around doing things
and interacting with mass volumes of people. Even when I am home,
we are always out and about going places and doing things. My guess
is that my percentage of weird shit will be higher than those that
work with the same people every day, shop at the same places and go
home every night. If you live a relatively predictable life, the
stories will tend to be monotonous. Just my guess.
So I was up at
8am, worked all day until 3:30am. As I pull into the hotel parking
lot I honestly think to myself that it would be acceptable to just
sleep in the car and go up to the room in the morning. But I still
have an hour or two of e-mails and reports to complete before I can
stop for the night and I'd rather do those reports sitting at the
desk than balancing the laptop on the steering wheel.
So I drag my
tired ass inside, nod to the desk clerk who sees me pull this night
work every week for the last three months. I get to the room and my
key doesn't work. It not only won't open the door but it doesn't
make the red light come on either. I know the key works because I
used it to get through the front gate and you need the key to get to
the executive floor in the elevator. I try it three more times and
no luck. That is when I notice that I can hear the TV in the room.
I never leave the TV on, I barely turn it on when I'm in the room.
"Oh shit!" I think to myself. I am trying to get into the wrong
room!
So I go back
down to the desk and ask the lady to verify which room I am in. She
remembers my name and looks up the room. Room 618, Christopher
Morgan. Then she turns white. She tells me to hang on, picks up
her radio and calls security.
It turns out
that cruise ship employees are used to sharing hotel rooms with
their fellow workers. So when Royal Caribbean employee Christopher
Morgan showed up tonight and asked which room he was in, they looked
him up and gave him a key to room 618. When he got to the room and
saw my stuff all over the place he just thought he must have a room
mate that was a slob.
Luckily he was
still awake and working on his computer when he answered the door.
Security asked me to verify that all my stuff was intact and then
took Chris Morgan #2 downstairs to get him another room. Between
this mess and the reports I had to write up I finally got to bed at
5am, just in time to be up again at 8am for Thursday's workday.
This is about
the fourth Chris Morgan I've met other than me. I took an
ass-beating because of one of them. Another time, another story...
Why does all
this weird shit happen to me? I only WISH I was making this stuff
up...
Tuesday, 7-15-8
I just read a
story in the local paper that made me think we don't deserve to
survive as a species.
The story
starts out the same as all the other news stories and didn't seem
interesting at first. In fact, if the picture hadn't caught my eye
I would have skipped over it. A woman is arrested for aggravated
assault after she caught her boyfriend having sex with her 14 year
old daughter. Yeah, we read that story all the time and I would
have skimmed over it until I saw the picture of the knife. It made
me think about how blood looks so innocuous in a black/white photo.
So the picture hooked me in and I read the story. That's when I got
angry. At the woman!
This guy moved
in two weeks ago. They DAY she met him!!! She talked to him online
for three months and "fell in love". Dipshit. She invited him to come
live with her when he lost his job. He shows up and moves in. Of
course, she has to go to work to support her new "insta-family" and
when she comes home, she finds him balls deep in the daughter. This
is where it gets good. Remember the knife, the assault? She grabs
a kitchen knife and attacks her daughter for sleeping with
her man. A guy she has known for two weeks...
There are so
many problems that this article screams to me.
Are people so
desperate for relationships that chatting online is really where you
want to look for love? Some people are so damn stupid and weak that
they'll settle for anyone rather than be alone. Emotions are cheap
and easily manufactured I guess.
What kind of
crazed, moron, dumb bitch leaves her child alone with a guy she just
met? What level of idiocy does this take? She ought to
be brought up on charges for child endangerment, the kid should be
taken away and the mother should be sterilized or even better,
executed so she can no longer contaminate our species.
You can't play
house like you were in elementary school. Real life is complicated
and takes a bit of work. If you don't work at it, you don't
have stuff
like love and stability. Fucking idiots. I really fucking hate
people. Maybe I take back what I said yesterday about the human
race. Maybe we really are doomed to destroy ourselves.
Monday, 7-14-8
I feel the
crash coming. It's not here yet but the storm clouds are forming.
I am still happy but it's like I have a bad trojan program running
in the background of my brain. I know it is there, I know it is
going to get me, I can't find it and I can't stop it. That feeling
of a looming deadline that you know you won't meet. I don't know
what is going on. Have I held off the storm for too long? Have I
been running high for so long that now I need to counter with a
severe low? I feel like I should be doing something. If I could
build something, create something, DO something, I could stay out of
the approaching rain. Something is about to hit me in the face and
I don't even know which direction it is coming from. This has been
the loneliest drive yet.
Depression is
something Hollywood thinks is a good idea I guess. I know Pixar
does. WALL-E is the latest "G rated" Disney movie and it starts out
with the hammer to the skull message that the human race destroyed
the planet and had to move to space ships to escape our mess. It
follows up that sweet little reminder with a depiction of the human
race as lazy fat blobs who are slaves to the big corporation. Is
this really a kid's movie? Wow! I know that I normally agree with
the ideas in this movie but I'm a jaded and mean-spirited asshole.
This is a fucking Disney cartoon! Disney! Those are the people
that are supposed to bring us fairy-tales and adventure. Noble
heroes, loveable sidekicks, innocent princesses, sexy mermaids and
defeated villains. They aren't supposed to depress our kids, are
they? So since Disney/Pixar has crossed over into my territory and
painted a doom/gloom picture of our future, I now have to step over
to the other side and be positive for once. Gods this is going to
hurt. I HATE being happy and positive and all of that shit...
Yes, we are a
stupid, short-sighted race of people and we are mortgaging our
futures for the instant gratification of the present. We are in
deep shit here people and we need to do something about it. Not now
but yesterday. But we are also a resourceful group who can overcome
and adapt to many situations. Yes we have become complacent, lazy
and spoiled, but all that will change when it has to. It would be
nice if it changed now, but that's not human nature. Newton's first
law of motion and all of that. We'll keep being comfortable as long
as we can until that unbalanced force changes things. And then
after things change, we'll find ways to be comfortable in the new
paradigm. We are wasteful, but when things become scarce, we'll
start hoarding again. We buy things we don't need, but when the
power goes out, those iPods will be the first thing we drop. We are
fat and lazy but we aren't stupid. Those of us who are stupid or
unwilling to change will die off quickly (I wish they'd start
NOW!). The human race will survive in one form or another. We're
not escaping into space and we're not destroying the planet.
I have a whole
big rant on that whole "save the planet" mentality but I'll lave
that for later. We are incapable of hurting this planet. And I
seem to be incapable of stopping my thoughts. I keep writing on and
on about this topic even though this is right where I want to stop
the blog. It would seem that I have a lot to say about this. I
will cut out the pages below and save them for later. Maybe I'll
put them up here another day. But for now I want to stay positive.
We aren't the blobs depicted in WALL-E. We never will be. Some of
us aspire to be like that and some even achieve it. But only
because times are good and the humans are thriving. When the storm
clouds break, they'll be gone and those of us left will be the ones
that were able to put away our toys and think for ourselves.
Saturday, 7-12-8
The house is
flooded with estrogen and I sit alone in my self-imposed exile,
upstairs in my room. The annual "girls weekend" is upon us and
unfortunately I have nowhere to hide this time. Every year they do
this and every year I wonder why the hell they ever plan to do it
again. I love women but I despise girls. They are catty, evil,
illogical creatures that exist solely to cry and complain about
everything. Where you have two, you may have peace. Where you have
three or more, you have a den of bitchery that no group of men could
ever conceive.
The sounds
emanating from the festivities have me imagining the worst. The
screaming and the laughing is to be expected but I honestly believe
that they are down there with heavy construction equipment
attempting to tear down the house. What the fuck else could explain
all the banging and bumping? I am lucky, no THEY are lucky, that I
am trying to stay out of the way this weekend because if I was
downstairs and saw them banging on the walls and doors like I think
I hear them doing, I would kill every damned one of them right where
they stand. Next I would turn my rage on the "adults" that are
allowing them to act like fucking morons.
I guess I just
don't understand girls. If it were a guys night I imagine it would
include a little backyard football, a movie or two and a lot of
stories about our exploits that were about three percent true. No
structural damage to the home, no asinine mess for the host to clean
up and if one of us stepped out of line, he'd be called out on it
instead of one of us acting the drama queen and playing martyr.
It's like they live to whine. If they hate each other so much why
do they keep hanging out? I just don't get it.
So in my
solitude I am finally getting some reading done. My computer is out
in the common area and I consider anything beyond the threshold of
my bedroom "occupied territory". There's only so much television I
can endure and I need a break from working on the laptop because
that's all I seem to do recently. So I finally get back to the
books. And of course, I come across something that makes me want to
write. Immediately. So I break out the laptop and here I sit
spewing out all my little problems for you to sort out. Here is my
latest concern.
I am consuming
a book that is a collection of short works and essays on the
non-belief in god. I picked it up because aside from the standard
authors that I have read over and over like Sagan, Einstein, Freud
and Marx it also had some modern authors like Christopher Hitchens
and Richard Dawkins. (You can always tell the new from the old by
the need of first names...) There were also a bunch of names I had
not read before. So I am skipping through this book and I read two
passages by different authors that made me pause and give serious
consideration to the following: Does the author name affect the
credulity of the work? And that answer being a resounding "YES",
why can't the work stand on its own?
Imagine if you
will that I am a writer. Imagine I write a horror novel and that I
submit it to Doubleday Press for publication. Further imagine that
somehow my cover sheet was somehow swapped with the cover sheet for
a new Stephen King submission sitting on the same desk. I know the
imagination is wearing thin here but go with me on this, this is
simply an academic exercise... So the slush reader gets both
stories and reads through them both. I propose that it is not only
possible but probable that whatever I have written will get
published or at least a re-draft order simply because it had Stephen
King's name on it while (based on what he has been churning out in
the last two decades) whatever he had written would get a rejection
simply because it has my "non" name on it. The work will not stand
on its own in either case. Some of the world's best works are
probably sitting on the bottom of some editor's drawer because the
author is a nobody.
Back to my
original problem... I read one article and I was impressed. It was
a well known name (I'll tell you in a minute) and I was aware but
reminded at just how scathing this author got at times. The second
piece I read almost made me weep. It was as if it were written in
personal correspondence and addressed directly to me. Every word of
it rang true to me as if I had written the words myself. That
author is also known but I fear not as respected a name among "the
general public". That's when I realized that this piece would not
be taken serious when read by the public if it had the author's name
on it. If I were to juxtapose the author names on the two pieces I
had just read, I'll bet I see this second piece circulated as one of
those obnoxious e-mails you people are always sending around.
The author of
the first piece was Mark Twain. If you put his name on any damned
thing, it suddenly becomes "worthy" of reading. His article was
very good even if dated by his language. Considering the era in
which it was written it was MUCH more adversarial that the second
article. The second author was Penn Jillette (yes, that Penn, of
Penn & Teller fame). I am an avid fan of Penn and have read and
watched anything I can find on him. He is a fascinating guy and I
use him as my answer to the very BBC-esque question, "If you could
pick anybody alive, who would you like to spend an evening with?" I
would describe him as a "professional skeptic" and an incredible
speaker. As with any hero-worship I attempt to destroy the idol by
beating them with their own game. As he cries out for logic and
truth I watch for him to slip up and use the same tricks he is
rallying against and just when I think I hear one, he acknowledges
it and exposes it for what it is. If he's full of shit, he's got me
fooled. He is diligent and honest and most of all a free-thinker.
Most of this is unknown to most of the world who think of Penn
Jillette as a charlatan because he does stage magic. He has a Vegas
show where he tells you "pick a card, any card" and that is the
extent of the general public's image of him.
So this
beautiful passage on the freedom of non-belief is immediately
discounted before it is read solely because the author is someone
you don't know. Worse than unknown, the author is someone you have
heard of but don't respect as a writer. If I put Mark Twain's name
on Penn's article, I guarantee it would be given more of the respect
it deserves.
Thursday, 7-10-8
State of the Emperor address:
Hotel room coffee makes me ill.
It might have been the tacos I just
ate... that I bought on Tuesday.
This ear/sinus infection (EVERY
time I swim in that pool!) is causing me to periodically pass out.
The report I am writing up is
oppressive and the drawing I am correcting was apparently created by
a retarded monkey with a crayon. Becca knows more about
AutoCAD than this so-called "engineer".
That is all.
Wednesday, 7-9-8
My friends, all is bleak on the
movie front. I had a fun exchange this morning with Wade in which I
realized that I can quote "Life Of Brian" and "Afro Samurai" all day
but I get the classics all kind of screwed up. I am nowhere near as
well versed as I thought (hoped) I was... But I started looking at
movie sites and came across the actual trailer for "Hamlet 2".
Jesus Christ and Hamlet in a time machine. No, that's not some fun
way to swear like a lot of people adlib, ie; "Jesus Christ on a
pony!" Or "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!" No, Jesus Christ and
Hamlet in a time machine is actually the plot for this play within
the movie. I'm not fucking joking. Light sabers, Satan kissing the
President and a musical number entitled, "Rock Me Sexy Jesus".
Seeing that they went out of the way to make this thing ridiculous,
it may turn out to be good. Imagine "Sister Act" and "Porky's"
mixed with a bit of "The Producers". The whole 1st
Amendment v. shutting down of the play thing has been done to death
but this looks like it might be funny enough to see...
"So saith the shepherd, so saith the flock!"
I also heard about some new releases
coming our way. All of them are remakes and all of them are weak in
the "did they need to be remade?" question. I mean, remaking "Pygmalion/My Fair Lady" again is abrasive to every nerve I have but
it might be time to tell that story again. I just wish it was with
a better actress.
But do we really need "Red Dawn" to be told EVER again? How about
"Robocop"? "The Day the Earth Stood
Still" might be a valid candidate for remaking but Keanu freaking
Reeves!? "Death Race" was fun but I don't think it really needed to
be made in the first place. And for big "huh?" moments, they are
rebooting "Superman" and "Friday the 13th". Why? Try to
avoid them but like it or not, these movies are heading our way
folks, Hollywood is all out of ideas.
And since I've started putting silly
little one liners at the end of the rant I've gotten more feedback
on them in the last two days than I have on the audio content I put
up two weeks ago. If you listened to it, let me know what you
thought, good or bad I'd like to hear what you thought. The lack of
feedback kind of tells me what I feared. I guess I'm just not that
funny. I WILL find an outlet. I will do something creative. I
just don't know what yet. Hey, at least I tried.
Tuesday, 7-8-8
Is it possible
to go 24 hours in Miami without wicked, badass thunder storms? Not
that I'm complaining. I love the storms. I would think it would
get old real fast if you lived here but I guess it doesn't. I've
been talking with a few people down here on a regular basis and they
say it's nice to have the storms cool down the nights before you go
out for the evenings. But people, these aren't storms, these are
STORMS! Lightning popping all around, rain coming down in sheets
and for a solid hour or three. Afternoon rain is part of living in
Florida. Apparently, apocalyptic floods are part of living in
Miami.
I have been on
the road for two and a half (3.5?) years now. Living out of hotels
every weekday, traveling home most weekends. Only one thing remains
a constant and it is starting to worry me. Every morning I get out
of the shower there is the rack of hotel towels waiting for me. Two
on the bottom and one on the top. I NEVER use the top towel. I say
out loud and in by best approximation of the voice, "Only a great
fool would take what he is given, and I am not a great fool so I
clearly can not choose the towel on top of the pile. But they would
have known I was not a great fool, they would have counted on it so
I clearly can not choose the towel on the bottom." Then I dry off
and drink coffee imagining it has iocane powder in it. This happens
EVERY single morning. Am I just a big geek or am I psychotic?
All last
weekend Becca and Liz kept saying, "Aw c'mon mom, you know I'm not
like other guys. I'm weird and my pants are too tight." I thought
it was funny and I corrected them that the line is actually, "I'm
nervous and my socks are too loose." That's when I found out that
one of their bands parodied the "Hot for Teacher" intro for their
video. They had me pull it up on YouTube and I watched it with
them. Ok, the band tried but they could have done better. I showed
them the original and they liked it. They said they liked theirs
better though because it had strippers in the classroom. They spoke
too soon. They smiled and liked that their band used the old ideas,
Becca said it kind of made their bands "real".
Why do people
still name their kids Damien? Names should be retired once someone
causes a lot of damage or makes the name otherwise singular. They
do it with hurricanes. Why not with people? Cher, Damien, Adolf,
Jesus. These are names that bring an image to mind. When I say
Damien, you think about that little kid and possibly that dog, not
the guy taking your order at Applebee's.
I watched one
of the Matrix sequels last night. I don't remember which one it was
but it was not as bad as I remember. They do seem to have a lot of
down time though. Sitting around and sulking in their rooms,
brooding about their fate... If I were in that world I'd be plugged
into that machine as much as possible. I'd be waking up every five
minutes; "I know Kung Fu!" go back to sleep, "I know how to fly a
fighter jet!" go back to sleep, "I know how to take perfect
photographs!", "I know Calculus!", "I know Macrame!", "I know how to
speak Latin", "I know ..." just about every damn thing. I'd learn
everything I could. How cool would that be? And to have the
ability (muscle memory?) implanted as well as the knowledge!? I'd
learn how to play every instrument known to man in just one
afternoon.
Today's random
thought:
Are you upset
when you go through the McDonalds drive through and order large
fries and when you get them they are the same size as they always
are, there are just more of them? Yeah, me too.
Monday, 7-7-8
So I fought her
demon Vista machine last night until midnight and then I had to get
up at 4:30 this morning to rush down to Miami. Of course, as soon
as I hit the bumper-bumper Ft. Lauderdale traffic I got the call
that the drawings have been postponed and that I don't need to be on
site until tomorrow. I could have slept in, enjoyed breakfast with
the family, seen a friend on the way out of town... Could have done
a lot of things. I guess I should enjoy what I've got for now. The
original plan was to work Miami until October but at the rate we are
going it looks like Miami might be put on hold and I'll end up
elsewhere. Just speculation at this point but with all the other
sites being mentioned more than once in our meetings I'd have to
guess they have a backup plan if the guys at Miami don't start
playing ball and let us get our work done. It's a lot harder to get
home every weekend when I'm in Chicago or New York. But for now
we'll plod along and keep banging our heads against the wall, it
seems to be what we do best.
Had a nice
weekend. We visited Mom and Dad, the girls got to play in the pool
and have fun. They are each in the middle of a series of books and
all they wanted to do was read. As a parent, how can you fight
that? Why would you? Becca reads in cycles. She'll voraciously
read everything she can get her hands on for months at a time and
then, she'll just stop reading, even for school assignments. I am
much the same way but Teresa is constantly reading something. I
hope Becca takes after her mother in this rather than taking after
me. I love reading but I don't read as much as I should. So how
can I tell her, "Hey, put that book down! No more reading until you
finish this video game!" Sounds crazy no?
I just talked
with a few of my on-line associates (e-friends) and they said they
were going to be at Dragon*Con next month and asked if I was going
to make it. I haven't been to a Con in years and don't see it
happening any time soon. I'm not really in that world anymore and
while it would be fun, it would burn up a lot of money and more
importantly, a whole weekend that I'm sure I'll have somewhere I'll
need to be. The only reason I would go is for the people. Meet
some of the people I converse with on the net, gawk at some minor
celebrities, people-watch the cosplays. Fun but too expensive in
time and money. If I had an immense bankroll of disposable income
there is a metric shitload of stuff I'd like to buy at these
places. Maybe if I told Teresa that one of her favorite authors is
going to be there I can turn it into a family trip? "A trip to
Atlanta to see your brother and you can meet Laurell K. Hamilton
too?" Meanwhile I'm passed out drunk with strangers I met on-line
and for some reason I'm half dressed like a stormtrooper... I'm
sure I'd have a good time but there are too many things in my life
that I used to do that I'm still doing just for the people
involved. Reviving a long dead idea just to do the same is kind of
a retarded concept. If I had the time to hit things like Cons again
it will be something productive like a Clarion or Viable Paradise.
I bitch about how little time I have and then I turn around and
bitch about not being able to waste time on something I no longer
enjoy. I think the common point here is that I just like to bitch.
But then again, that's why you're here isn't it?
I've got some
work to do so I leave you with this thought for the day: Never play
strip Tarot.
Sunday, 7-6-8
Fuck Windows
Vista!!! Fuck it right in its smug little asshole with a big rubber
dick! I am counting the days until I finally go Mac. I'm not
expecting any computing miracle. I know hard drives crash no matter
what OS is loaded on them and I know driver errors exist in both
worlds but honestly, even if Apple were an inferior product, I'd
still buy it just to escape Microsoft. I am an angry monkey! I
just spent the last few hours (the ONLY down time I have this long,
long weekend) screwing around with Teresa's new computer and I want
to scream. When we first powered it up I started playing around
with it I started thinking, "Hey, maybe Vista isn't so bad. Maybe
they've worked out all the bugs and maybe I'll save the money and
stay with the PC." THEN, I tried to load software on the computer.
If all you want is a simple little box that looks pretty, Vista is
your OS. If you can afford to buy all new programs and abandon all
your previous work, Vista will work for you. If you don't mind
being trapped in circular error HELL, then Vista is just perfect for
you.
It is the OS
for people that don't like computers. Or maybe just for people that
don't know computers. If you are into being spoon fed all of your
computer info, if you are good at marching along in line and never
trying anything different than what Big Brother tells you to do, if
you are the type to read the full manual before powering up, Vista
was created just for you. However, if you believe that the computer
should work for you and not the other way around, if you want to try
new things, if you are a dabbler and want to troubleshoot your
computer, stay the fuck away from Vista. I really don't know if any
other system out there is any better, I'm just tired of dealing with
a vampiric leech like Microsoft.
I just spent
the better part of an hour trying to find where a software download
disappeared to. It showed up in the download window but vanished
before my eyes when it was complete. It turns out Vista didn't
recognize the program and deleted it for me. Isn't that nice?
Three downloads later and a transfer from my computer to hers, I
finally have iTunes loaded. Loading virus protection software was
another hour of hell. The compatibility error would pop up, I would
acknowledge it, it would disappear and pop up on the tool bar. It
would fade after 10 seconds and pop up on the screen again making it
damn near impossible to do anything other than sit and click on the
pop ups for the rest of my life. Is this some kind of hidden free
game Microsoft thought I might like to play? Clicking the pop ups
until I scratch my own eyes out? Fun but tedious. It did offer a
suggestion of how to solve the problem. Go online and buy the
latest version. I just got this version less than three months
ago. But v10.1 is incompatible with Vista. V10.2 is compatible but
it's not a free upgrade. The list goes on and I'm sure it will
continue. I now have personal validation in my hatred for Vista.
Wade, Chris,
Jose, Scott... I'm coming over to your side of the technology world
soon. Please tell me that Macs are just a bit friendlier than
this?!?
Wednesday, 7-2-8
Not that any of you are early risers
or anything but if any of you want to see one of the aspects of what
I do for a living, tomorrow morning on the "Today" show (7am) they
are going to show one of the new WBIs I've been working on. I don't
know when it will appear in the show and I don't know how much
they'll show but we've had a crew setting up the gear in Rockefeller
Plaza this week for the show. Not sure how cool it will be but hey,
everyone always wants to know just what the hell it is that I do
when I leave the house. So here you go. I'm not sure if I'll be up
at 7am, if I miss it let me know how it goes.
Speaking of how I make my living, I
am a little concerned about the apathy of my housekeeping staff.
Normally everyone is concerned about hotel housekeeping going
through their stuff and stealing things, I'm concerned about just
the opposite...
I got out of a conference call
meeting and went down for breakfast. I am so tired of the airport
and the hotel so I went out for a ride. More about that later.
(Remind me to tell you about the $185,000 pear)
When I got back from
the drive, housekeeping had already made up the room. I sat back
down at the desk to do some work and I realized that I left my notes
out on the desk. I've got blueprints for the airport, schematics
for X-Ray machines and hand written notes about a "Suicide Bomber
Detection Unit" laying out around my computer. How can someone see
all that and NOT call the FBI? Apathy, it can be dangerous.
Encouraging people to stick their noses into other people's
business? Doesn't sound like me does it? It was just an
observation...
When I was out on my drive I saw a
motorcycle with a license plate that said "Under 21" on it. Good
idea but isn't there already a law about drinking and driving? I
mean if a cop sees you drinking a beer while driving, is he really
going to check your plate to see if you are of age? And what
happens when someone borrows the bike?
I was looking for something to do
and I saw the Jackie Gleason Theater with all of the hand/foot
prints like you get in Hollywood. I also saw that his gravesite is
only a few blocks from the hotel. So when I went back I drove by
and checked it out just to see it. It is a large columned couch
type of thing and on the top step leading up to the couch it is
inscribed with "And away we go!" I thought that shit was sooo
funny.
I drove around Palm and Star Islands
admiring the million dollar houses with multi-million dollar yachts
parked in front of them. If you like people watching there is no
place on Earth like South Beach. The entire strip is fronted by
open-air cafes, restaurants and bars. Half of them are playing
Cuban music and the other half are playing 80's synth-pop. The
"$185K pear" story comes in right here. When I left the hotel
I grabbed a pear from the bar. I sat it on the seat next to me
and drove off and forgot all about it. While driving down here
at the beach, you have to make lots of sudden stops because people
jump out in front of you, scooters and motorcycles drive in between
cars and everything is parallel parking which makes for a lot of
doors opening into traffic. Granted, you're only going 5-10
MPH but you still have to slam on the brakes. When I did, the
pear rolled off the seat, hit the console and rolled under my feet.
I didn't want it to get under the brake or gas pedal so I tried to
fish it out from under me. I only took my eyes off the road
for a second (famous last words) and when I looked up I saw red.
Honestly, all I saw was the side of bright red car. When I saw the little yellow
sticker with the black rearing horse on it, I knew I was fucked. I
couldn't hit a Yugo or a Pinto? I have to T-bone a Ferrari!?!?!
Luckily, the driver was quick and pulled out faster than I thought.
All I got for the trouble was a minor heart attack and a shattered
ear drum from that high-pitched Ferrari horn. It wouldn't have
mattered that he was wrong and that he pulled out in front of me,
when a rented PT Cruiser hits a Ferrari, guess who has the better
lawyer...
So I make the mistake of turning the
television on when I get back to the room. I have a few minutes
before my next meeting and figured I'd vege-out and relax. I flip
the channels and of course there is nothing on that interests me. I
do find a History Chanel program all about refrigeration and
cryogenics that I start to watch but the storm knocked out the
reception. Somehow I still get half of the other channels so
instead of turning the damn thing off I continue to search for
something to numb my brain. I come across a charity drive for
African kids. I normally flip past this because I have very strong
feeling about this (and I hate Sally Struthers) but the lady on the
program looked familiar. It turned out to be Marsha Brady. Yes, I
know she has a real name but that's like calling Jack Klugman
anything but Quincy (too obscure?) In the plea she says that these
kids are living in dirty, horrible, dilapidated shacks and the
camera pans to show rooms that you or I would consider substandard
but they were clean and dry at least. I've always wanted some
self-important celebrity to say their line about these miserable
shacks and have some African man standing next to her slap the shit
out of her and say, "Bitch, this is my HOME you are talking about!"
Stop holding the world to your standards. Help them but don't judge
them. To be honest, if I were living in that part of the world,
that house looked like excellent lodging to me. Just because it
doesn't rate the same as the 5 star hotel Maureen stays at while
filming all this doesn't mean it isn't someone's home.
I am so tired of our attempt to make
this planet the third mall from the sun. What drives these people
to push out into the wilderness and force their standard of living,
their religion and their form of government on everyone they meet?
You know, it just might be possible that a small tribe of people
living in grass huts, worshiping the sun and moon and ruled by the
strongest tribesman can be happy without you or your way of life.
They might even be happier. They don't give a shit what the price
is for a gallon of gas. They don't have to pick up little Susie
from soccer practice and then make it to the orthodontist in time to
rush over to Wal-Mart and pick up the latest DVDs for $7. I'm all
for capitalism and consumerism but take it easy.
And they just might be happy praying
to the sun and moon. Does your incarnation of deity grant your
every wish? Nope. Flip a coin, I'll bet your god gives you about
half of all reasonable requests. You know why? Because that's
life. Some perversion of the law of averages tells you can have
just about half of what you ask for, given that you ask for mundane
things. You only pray for things that are close to happening
anyway. "Dear lord, please let me make an A on my report card" when
you haven't even shown up to class is not a prayer, it is a request
for a miracle. And the great thing about miracles is that you never
get upset when he doesn't follow through on them. So the same
prayer offered up by a student that is already hovering between the
A and B grade will either happen or it will not. 50% Half of the
time you get what you want, half of the time you won't. Asking for
two new computers and expecting one to show up just because that's
half of your prayer... I am not even going into that level of
perversion of the law.
But the sun and moon give this
imaginary tribe the same percentage. Just about half. Abundant
crops, a good hunt, the health of a child. And you know what it
gives them that most other world religions don't give their
faithful followers? It gives them proof. The sun and the moon exist. They
can look at the faces of their gods and know they are up there. Can
the rest of the planet say the same thing?
And government of the people, by the
people and for the people sounds like a great idea but we haven't
seen that in a long time. What makes us think that we should
interject Democracy around the globe when we haven't even perfected
it here at home? I believe the people that don't trust the
government and are unhappy with the government are in the majority.
Some people will tell you they believe in and trust the government,
some people will tell you they are happy with the government but
MOST people will tell you they agree that the system is broken. We
had a good idea and it got corrupted. Republican or Democrat, it
doesn't matter anymore. The political system in this country broke
down a long, long time ago and it is facing meltdown. The only way
it is sustaining itself is the media drawing arbitrary lines and
making a fuss over every perceived difference. Do you believe our
government is perfect? No. Then why do we want to spread in
imperfect system?
The tribesmen follow the strongest
hunter because they know she will get them fed. Or they follow the
wisest old man because he can give them knowledge that will keep
them out of trouble. Or maybe they have a contest to see who will
lead the tribe. In any case, name a president in our recent history
that was capable of doing anything other than being a politician.
Can he kill and skin a goat? Will he lead our people to clean
water? Will he entertain us with stories of our ancestors? No. He
will continue the system that only allows wealthy families of power
to maintain that power.
Yes, it is quite possible and I will
even say probable that this imaginary tribe is happier than we are.
That is of course, until the day Gloria Stivic and Marsha Brady come
along and tell them about how "good" life is beyond this village,
how God will burn them in Hell if they don't submit before him and
how the rest of the world is at war killing each other. The tribe's
children are intrigued with the cool new things the outsiders have
brought, the hunters and workers embrace the technology that makes
their hard life just a bit easier and the elders of the community adopt the new
religion out of persistence and fear. Yet another functioning
culture destroyed by our desire to colonize every square inch of the
planet. Yay for us! Put down the plow and your spear, pick up your iPod. We've
conquered another land of living spirits and we claim this territory
in the name of Microsoft and Starbucks!
What the fuck gets me into
these moods?!?! Sorry guys I'll try to be a kindler, gentler
me tomorrow...
Tuesday, 7-1-8
Hey kids, are you bored?
Do you need something to fill the
vast eons of down time you have between updates in you favorite
blogs or podcasts?
Do you enjoy rambling conversations
about everything and nothing?
Are you a BIG fan of the "F" word?
Well if so, step right up! We have
just what you need.
As if my magnificent blog wasn't
enough, as if you craved even more of my inane ramblings, as if you
had the time to listen to someone just like you talk about shit you
don't care about... Just when you have had enough of me, I found a
way to give you even MORE! That's right, now I have created an
audio blog (podcast?) for the clinically insane, the bored and the
illiterate.
I want to branch out, I want to try
new things. I listen to a lot of podcasts. Some are pointless and
fun but others leave me thinking, "I could do better". So, here to
prove that, no, no I can't do any better but I can flood the market
with poorly recorded drivel, I give you my very own podcast.
A lot of you seemed to like the
music quizzes I made. A whole bunch of you downloaded them and I
got a lot of positive feedback on it. So you listened to it and you
liked it, but I stopped only because it was difficult to produce for
the two or three regular participants.
So now you can have a show that you can listen to and not have to
participate in. The silky smooth goodness flows toward you, not
away.
Depending on the feedback on the
initial show, this will end one of two ways. Lots of positive
feedback, this will become a regular occurrence, shooting for a bi
or tri-weekly drop. Lots of negative feedback, I delete it and
pretend it never happened. So, without further ado...
Show #01: Recorded Sunday, July
20th 2008.
Chris, Fred and special guest KC talk about
movies, capital punishment and taking over the world. By the end of
the show, the only thing we learn is that Chris can use the word
FUCK in every sentence he utters.
My thoughts after editing the show?
My voice sounds worse than I could
have possibly imagined.
Some things have to be abandoned no
matter how hard you worked on them. I had themed background
music playing all the way throughout. Teresa said it was too
busy and distracting. I listened to it again and she was
right. 7 hours of work deleted...
George Carlin was still alive when
we recorded this. After listening to this playback I realize that I
don't just love Carlin, I steal from him. Not all my jokes are
my own folks...
I'm like Wikipedia. I look like I'm
full of knowledge but you shouldn't believe a word I say until you
verify it somewhere else.
How could a person born in 1985
'remember' a time when computers were nothing but chatrooms and BBSs?
Send me an
e-mail on what you think
about it. Good or bad. If we get past the first few shows and you
like it, we will invest in better microphones and a mixing board.
Why buy them now only to find out you don't want to hear it?
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