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Wednesday, 2-27-8
Short time today. Lots going on
with travel, work and writing but I'm also finding ways to waste
time that I don't have.
Earlier this week I came across the
greatest spam-phish I've seen in a long time...
"WARNING!!!
Follow this link to update your account settings on or before
February 30th or your account will be locked out."
For those of
you who didn't get it the first time, read the date slowly...
I tried to read (listen) to a book
last week and I didn't get past the first paragraph before my BS
alarm went off. Of course, it is normally my own bias that rings
the alarm but when a politician, one who still plays the religion
game and smiles nicely for the camera on Sunday opens his book with;
"Why do reason, logic and
truth seem to play a sharply diminished role in the way America now
makes important decisions? The persistent and sustained
reliance on falsehoods as the basis of policy even in the face of
massive and well understood evidence to the contrary, seems to many
Americans to have reached levels that were previously unimaginable."
How can I take anything else this
guy says serious? This lines weren't speaking about religion (and
neither does the book) but when I heard that passage all I could see
was him sitting with his family in the congregation of a church
waving to the cameras so that all those voters would see him as a
religious man. And he wants to talk about basing decisions on
falsehoods in the face of reliable contradictory evidence? I lasted
through the rest of the opening chapter but couldn't take it any
further than that. After that opening it was all white noise,
buzzing in the back of my skull.
The other day Teresa pointed out
that I am now 35 and can run for president... Is she telling me to
"put up or shut up" or is she part of my "evil master plan"? I
could never be president. I actually think for myself and come up
with my own opinions. That is not always a good thing, sometimes I
form opinions too rapidly and they are wrong, requiring amendments
as I learn more of the facts. But I don't go with the flow just to
keep people happy. They're making a big deal about Clinton and
Obama because they're the first of their minority to have a real
chance. Those minorities are superficial. They aren't any
different and if you think it matters then you're the one with the
bigoted issues. Who cares if he's black or that she's a woman...
They are both life-party Democrats and not much different on the
inside where their cold-dead hearts should be. We need someone in
there who will fuck things up, shake up the daily routine of the
living quarters. Nothing changes when a black man or a woman is in
office. But can you imagine if we had someone in there that was
actually different? Our first Atheist president?
Not that I honestly think I'm the
right guy for the job but I DO think the job is no longer what it
should be. Too much posturing and politics. Not a lot of stuff
getting done because of the fear of a re-election campaign or a
legacy. We need a guy (or gal) in there that doesn't give a shit
about making a name for himself and has no intention of getting
re-elected. And the system is stacked so that we will never see
someone in that chair that has much of a spine. Not under the
current system. After the revolution maybe we'll get someone good
but until then you won't see much change. Same old crap, new
wrapper. Everyone is watching to see if the Democrats put up black
or female. And they like that you are watching that. Because it is
a superficial difference that seems so big that you don't question
whether either one is any good. The first black man, the first
woman... the 44th bag of shit.
Black or woman, they are still the
same inside. Dead-eyed, broken-spirited politician. We need to
pick the president by throwing a dart at a phone book and limiting
the term to one year.
Saturday, 2-23-8
I have to write
something. I'm going crazy just sitting here. I am still sick as
hell and I have been confined to bed for at least the rest of the
day if not the rest of the weekend. I tried to get up this morning
and that lasted about an hour. Now I'm lying here coiled in a ball,
re-reading an old H.P. Lovecraft anthology. I feel like I am
wasting the day by just sitting here dormant. There is so much I
could be doing, but even the slightest movement or even the smell of
food makes me wretch. I can't go anywhere and I can't do anything.
I have to wait it out and be a sloth. It's funny, I haven't eaten a
single thing in three days and I'm barely even hungry. I'll try a
piece of toast later but even the thought of that turns my stomach...
So, what's
going on in the real world while I wait here to die?
In just under a
year (364 days when I started writing this earlier this week) "over
the air" television broadcasting will be
going away.
You will no longer pick up TV stations from a set of rabbit ears.
I'd be upset if I was more attached to the TV. Like if I had one in
an ice-fishing hut or an RV or something. Has it been so long? I
remember when cable TV was new and considered a luxury. Now cable
or satellite is a requirement. Progress or greed?
I think I am
going to enroll in the police academy and become a cop. I think if
I could set my own patrols I could really make a difference, make
the roads safer for us. By "us" I mean all of us that are
safe/competent drivers. I will have a regular job but when it
starts to rain I'll become like a superhero. I'll drop what I'm
doing and put on my cop uniform (no cape or spandex) and drive
around the highways of America in the storms and pouring rain. My
sole function will be to find and kill those assholes that drive
around in the rain with their flashers on. Oh FUCK someone should
skin them alive and drop them in a casket full of salt!
And for
some reason it seems to be a worse problem on I-10 more than any
other highway I travel. Ok, I know Hurricane Katrina really messed
things up and destroyed your lives but you do NOT need to turn your
flashers on every time you use your windshield wiper fluid! These
people are dangerous and they are fooling themselves into thinking
that they are helping out the other drivers on the road. It is
illegal for a damn reason! When conditions are already hazardous
and visibility is low I don't need the added aggravation of figuring
out if you are stopped in the traffic lane or are just some dickhead
driving with your flasher on (in the left lane I might add!!!!)
These people should be targeted and terminated on site. No trial,
no jury. They endanger the safety of the rest of us and personally
get on my nerves, destroy them at will. The Emperor of Earth has
spoken.
Ok, on to
something a little more lighthearted... Christians can't understand
sarcasm. This was discovered by me in a purely scientific study
where I polled one person and applied the results to every living
being sharing this characteristic with him. I was driving along
I-10 and in Mobile, Alabama my RF modulator goes out because of a
very strong signal in the area. Rather than flipping my modulator
to another station I just flipped through the radio stations to see
what was going on in the world.
I settled on a station where a guy
was ranting (in the nicest possible way) about a group donating
money to build churches in China. He was upset because in order to
build a church in China you have to sign an agreement with the
government to blend in with the Chinese culture and this means you
can't spout off that all non-believers are going to burn in Hell.
This guy on the radio had no stake in this, he wasn't part of this
venture in any way. He was just pointing out from his microphone
pulpit that it was wrong and that all of his listeners should call
these people (he provided the phone numbers) and tell them that it
is wrong to omit parts of the word of God just because they signed
an agreement with a hostile government.
It was fun to listen to him
and his callers go round and round about how awful it was and how
they were going to shut down this whole atrocity. Then a young
woman called in and asked what "Jesus said about Hell". The guy
responded with "Well, the Bible says..." and she countered with, "I
know what the Bible says but I want to know what Jesus said about
Hell". This went round and round for a few minutes and he cut her
off. I knew where she was going (and obviously so did the
talk-host) and he wasn't going to get drawn into this.
So with time
on my hand and more than just a little bored, I made a phone call.
I expected to be screened and found out so I didn't have much
planned in what I was going to say. The person answering the phone
simply asked where I was calling from and reminded me to not waste
any of the Lord's time with the usual "Long time listener, first
time caller, I love your show" type of stuff. Just get to the point
so we can share God's love." I was flabbergasted at how mechanical
it all was. Before I was ready I was on the phone with the host. I
stammered out that I was "Bob from Washington" (Hey, I had to improvise
in a hurry!) and that "Doesn't that silly girl know that the Bible
is the word of God and therefore the words of Jesus? If the Bible
says that elephants are pink then that means Jesus says elephants
are pink!" I expected a hang-up, a dial tone or at least an
argument. What did I get? "Amen brother, I agree with you 100%".
No shit. He believes anything the Bible says, no matter how
ridiculous and when this is tossed in his face, rather than wake up
he dives deeper into his psychosis and congratulates me on
"believing" the same thing. Scary.
I don't know
the entire story yet but I smell a shitty decision. Wal-Mart has
been battling with the image of the "American Corporation" with all
of the news shows showing that they buy cheap crap from China and
everything else. Right or wrong, it has been trying to maintain its
image of an American store for a long time now.
The face of America
is changing (and I personally think a lot of that it DUE to Wal-Mart
and the consumer greed mentality) and the symbols of America have
changed from "Baseball, Mom and apple pie" to "PlayStation, parental
guardian and McDonald's apple pie, two for a dollar". Well there
are very few things I can think of that are more symbolically
American that Girl Scouts. Teresa just got the call this morning
that Wal-Mart corporate offices has revoked all of the permits for
the Girl Scouts to sell cookies on the store sidewalks. Not that
they decided not to issue them, that would have been questionable
but reasons could have been given, excuses could have been made and
no trouble would have followed. They agreed (like every other year)
to let the girls have their cookie booths and then cancelled them on
the day they were to commence. That means that each of the troops
have ordered and taken delivery of extra cookies they thought they
would sell and now they have no where to sell them. Meaning that
the troops will be left with cases of unsold cookies and that comes
directly out of the troop profits.
So Wal-Mart loses nothing, Girl
Scouts loses nothing. You know who loses. The girls. They want to
take a trip? They want some new art supplies? They want to go to a
sporting event? Sorry girls, no money in the bank but we do have
extra cases of cookies. What Wal-Mart just ensured is that instead
of going to a museum they'll sit around and eat the extra cookies so
we'll have a bunch of uncultured, fat, diabetic girls running
around...
And finally for
some more earthly news... Last weekend I took the trip down to
south Florida to attend the first HawkFest. I was hoping to get
there for a couple of days but work made it look like I wasn't going
to be able to go at all and then at the last minute I was able to
make it for the weekend. I packed up some food and a sleeping bag
and drove down hoping to enjoy some all-night drumming and dancing.
When I got there I was surprised at how isolated the area was even
though it is in the middle of a developed area. I was able to spend
some time hanging out with people, getting to better know some
friends, old and new. I wasn't allowed to eat my dinner because two
different camps insisted (almost to the point of being insulted if I
refused) that I eat with them. Thanks a lot to all of you. I had packed some apples and stuff
to make sandwiches, instead I ate steak and salad. Oh oh oh, twist
my arm...
The drumming was incredible as was to be expected
considering the "professional" drum circlers in attendance. It was
fun to watch the excitement and there was plenty of time to join in
when the testosterone burned out. We finished playing around 5:30
and I crawled into the back of the truck and laid out the sleeping
bag. It may have been uncomfortable for a couple of minutes but I
went right to sleep and in the morning I didn't have to pack up a
tent. I also didn't have to worry about being up in time to start
cooking breakfast. That was a REALLY nice factor. No schedule/no
duties. Just hang out and have fun, enjoy the experience. Oh it
was so nice.
Back to
reality, we will be short one of our kitchen crew at the upcoming
festival and we considered asking for a volunteer, hopefully someone
that could do breakfast so we would catch a break Saturday morning.
Well the first response I saw was from another drummer. A little
counter-productive? We'll ALL be tired and cranky... So the more
we talked about it (We=the remaining kitchen crew of Teresa, Zephyr
and me) figured out that we could pull off getting the meals cooked
and served if only we could get someone to clean up and do dishes at
dinner. Our missing crew member doesn't do mornings/breakfast so
she volunteers to take care of the evening cleaning, freeing us up
to get out of the kitchen after we close down dinner. Anyone out
there want to come to a really cool festival, meet some cool people
and drum/dance every night until the cops show up? I'll pay half
your admission cost and you do all the dishes. Sound fair?
Whew! I told
you all I needed to do was write a little. I still feel like crap
but now I can go back to reading and maybe fall asleep, maybe dream
a little...
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
Friday, 2-22-8
I'm alive but VERY ill.
I know I promised a few of you updates this week but I can barely
hold my head up. There is fire in my back and ice in my
joints. I am weak and it takes an effort to keep my knees
working so that I remain standing. I've had constant "personal
protein evacuations" even though I haven't eaten a single thing
(except for water) in two days. I still have to get my work
done before I make that nine hour drive home. I am not happy,
I am not well.
This sounds like what Teresa
is just recovering from and she went through this for three weeks!
I am not looking forward to that.
I will get some updates on
here as soon as I am feeling better...
Wednesday, 2-13-8
I had my "Black
History Month" experience today. I'll forgo the usual rants (one
pro, one con) about designating a month for the exclusive promotion
of one particular culture but I will ask this, was it an intentional
slap in the face that they assigned the shortest month of the year
for this purpose?
Anyway, I was
driving from Atlanta, Georgia to Gulfport, Mississippi and just
about the time I hit Montgomery, Alabama I got the call to hold
position because I might need to change direction due to a cancelled
schedule. I pulled over and got lunch and found the first large
parking lot I could find that would enable me to sit and work on the
computer (or sleep) without being noticed. Usually I find the
closest Home Depot or Wal-Mart. This time it was a shopping mall.
I sat and ate my pathetic fast food lunch and watched the people
walking in and out of the mall. I make fun of them but I really am
thankful that there are so many rabid consumers out there, they keep
the economy running even when it should have died long ago...
But here I go
off on another tangent again. Sorry about that. I'm not here to wax
diabolical about the stupidity and inferiority of every person that
is not me... So there I sat, watching the world when I got one of
my really stupid ideas. They happen all the time, I just rarely get
a chance to act upon them. I moved the truck a little closer to the
mall and specifically closer to the bus stop. I got out and
examined the bus schedule and map.
I went back to
the truck and grabbed a pocket full of quarters and waited for the
bus. When it came I got on and deposited the exact change ($1) and
took a seat at the back of the bus. There were about eight other
people on the bus and none of them could have cared less about where
I chose to sit. After a few stops and apparently a
large circle, I got off at a stop just as the mall was coming back
into view. I waited at the bus stop thinking that another bus would
be along any minute to make the opposite trip and return me to my
truck. This time I'd sit up front.
It was 2pm and
31 degrees out. I huddled against the bus stop trying to cut down
the wind and that's when I saw the map/schedule that told me that
the next bus would be arriving in about half an hour and it was the
same route I got off of. Apparently everyone knows this but me.
How often do I ride the bus? How was I supposed to know? I thought
it was safe to assume that if they took me here, there would be a
way to get back (other than riding the entire route all the way
around!) Well, I wasn't waiting 30 minutes for another useless bus
ride way out of my way just to get back where I started from... I
could see the mall from here so I crossed the highway and walked
around the far side of the mall (it only occurs to me NOW that I
could have walked THROUGH the mall and gotten out of the weather...)
to get back to the truck. It took me almost 30 minutes to walk it
but I didn't have to wait. The timing couldn't have been better,
Just about the time I got back in the truck and caught my breath, I
got the call to head in to Jacksonville.
So now I can
say that I have ridden in the back of the bus in Montgomery,
Alabama. Not exactly Rosa Parks but what the hell, it was something
to do and I had time to kill.
Speaking of
"time to kill" but on a completely different subject, I really hope
I hang on to my e-mail address through the years. I just sent
myself an e-mail (FutureMe.org) to March of 2037 warning myself to
get in a few last days of fun. I've been doing a lot of reading
about various doomsday cults (most of them seem to be Christian...
funny?) and cultures all around the globe setting dates for the end
of life as we know it. Why is it that these people have an
obsession with when the world will end rather than just enjoy the
time we have? Many of those claiming to be compassionate and
pro-life seem to be the same crowd joyfully anticipating the return
of their savior damning the rest of us to an eternity of pain...
Anyway,
I'm officially throwing my hat in the ring because it seems that
anyone can claim to get holy revelations while at the same time
saying that no one will know the exact time/date. Contradictions
and logic can't stop the truly righteous.
So my date will
be April 5th, 2037. If we're still around, you're all
invited over to my place for one last big orgy/party. We'll have
fun and while we're waiting for the world to end I can ask the
question, "Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm
sixty four?"
Tuesday, 2-12-8
I've got about
28 hours of windshield time scheduled for this week. You run out of
stuff to listen to real quick when you aren't in the mood for a
seriously long book. So I'm jamming on "random" and up comes the
Village People with "Macho Man". I just put it on the iPod last
weekend because Teresa and I were going over my music and she was
surprised I didn't have anything but "YMCA" by them. I know the
song, I know the parodies from "Nacho Man" to "Matzo Man" but I
never really listened to the original song lyrics. "Wanna touch my
body", "Can you dig my big thick moustache"... So now I have a
question...
Did The Village People define the 70's gay culture or
did they impersonate it? Which came first, (chicken/egg) Village
People/Stereotype Gay culture...
I was born in
1972 so that means I don't know shit about the 70's, I was just a
child. I remember my mother playing music around the house a lot
but I mostly remember old 60's folk and rock and some
country/western. If she played any disco my mind has blissfully
blocked it from memory.
Everything I
know about 70's culture has come from books, television and movies.
I never experienced the drug and sexual freedom of the 70's because
I grew up in the 80's with AIDS and "Just Say No". My
pseudo-knowledge of the 70's draws up an image of a dying hippie
culture devolving into debauchery. No right no wrong, no gay no
straight, just pure hedonistic pleasure. How cool would it have
been to just walk into a club, get high enough that disco sounded
like a good idea and then bang the first four people you met?
Sounds like a lot of fun. Um... did I just come out as a
bisexual?
So when The
Village People were at their height, were they just another band or
were they always the symbol of the gay leather-daddies they are now?
There are many symbols and stereotypes that may not be "officially"
gay but there are some out there that have become defined by at
least one of the gay sub-genres. Whenever I see a muscle bound cop
with a thick moustache (or Tom Selleck) I call it the "gay cop
moustache". I never thought about it until now but I might be
brandishing my own biases here. If this isn't a (semi)universal
thought here then I am exposing my own bigotry. I should stop here
before I get myself into any further trouble. I'll just defend
myself by pointing out that if you dressed up like Judas Priest and
wore a thick moustache and walked into "Metro", you'd be a popular
guy. Just stay out of "Daddy's Closet". That's another story for
another time.
Monday, 2-11-8
I know you can be held responsible
for the charge of "Inciting a riot", but can one be held responsible
for "Inciting a sin"? I mean of course in the Christian world. I
don't expect that Christians would be able to charge me with a crime
that I do not acknowledge, not yet anyway. But then again, they've
got laws on the books based on Christian precepts and I guess in
reality they really could equate some crimes with sin, such as
selling beer on Sunday. Anyway I mean strictly among the abstract
"seven deadlies", think of it from among the Christian brethren, if
you cause your fellow Christian to sin, are you responsible? Or is
it his own fault for being weak? Or his God's fault for making him
too weak to resist the temptation that He put before him? And if
you are held responsible, to whom? Does Christ call you out on your
shortcomings or does he save it all up for judgment day? What form
should your punishment take? Should you be forced to delve into the
same sin you caused, thereby dirtying up your soul as badly as you
caused your brother's? Is there such a thing as sin-by-proxy or
sinful-by-association?
By the way, these are the questions
that keep me from being invited back to various churches, synagogues
and mosques...
The thought occurred to me today as
I was driving behind a large Chevy Suburban with large sparkle
letters across the entire rear of the vehicle that said, "Look what
God has blessed me with!" All I could think of was "Pride". And if
the poor guy that has to ride the bus to church sees it, and he's
had a particularly bad week and as he looks up and there's Joe, Mary
and their three kids getting out of their oversized SUV with "Look
what God has blessed me with!" emblazoned on the back, maybe Bob
starts to feel envious.
Bob goes in to the church and has to
sit behind Joe and Mary and he starts to really get upset because
their life is perfect and his is falling to pieces. He really
didn't think about it too much before but after seeing their
boastful SUV, he really takes a look at his life and starts to sob.
He's stuck in a dead-end job, his kids hate him and his wife hasn't
spoken to him in four years. He looks up just as Mary leans over
and kisses Joe and now Bob starts to boil up with anger (wrath if
you will). He can't understand why life dealt him such a crappy
hand. He's been a faithful follower and he's done everything he can
to live a life by example. Bob doesn't understand why things are
rosy for Joe but not for him. Bob is doubting God's love for him
and is now guilty of sloth as well.
After the service, the ladies of
the church have set up a nice luncheon and everyone sits and enjoys
the food. Bob doesn't normally stick around for things like this.
He was going to take the bus home, have a bowl of soup and do a
crossword puzzle but he is lonely and because of Joe and Mary he is
now terribly sad. Maureen sees this and insists Bob sit by her and
have lunch. They sit and talk all afternoon and because he is
having such a good time, Bob barley realizes that he has eaten much
more than he should have (gluttony).
The weeks have gone by and Bob
has seen Maureen every Sunday after church. They are both divorced
and lonely. Soon they fall into a lustful relationship and life is
starting to look a little better. Bob starts to realize that life
isn't so bad. He and Maureen have opened a small business and they
are starting to really make some money. Bob starts to buy the
things that he has always wanted but could never afford. He buys a
large boat and calls it "Look what God had blessed me with!"
complete with sparkly letters. Bob is buying more and more
expensive things. He went without for so long that he has become
crazy with greed now that he has real money.
One Sunday a tornado
hits the church and Bob, Maureen, Joe and Mary all die. They are
guilty of most of the "Big 7" but who gets the blame? Maureen was
least guilty and fell only because of Bob's lust. Bob is guilty of
most of the trespasses but he would have never fallen on this path
if he didn't see Joe's SUV. Joe is guilty of pride but should he
burn for the other six deadly sins? He didn't commit them but he
caused them. Should Bob burn for envy when it was clearly Joe's
fault? If Bob is held accountable for his own sins, isn't it God's
fault for allowing Bob to be tempted beyond the limitations that He
put on him?
Can dolphins commit sins? What if Flipper pops up and
sees Bob's yacht with "Look what God has blessed me with!" on the
back in sparkly letters? Flipper starts to feel envy and now we
have dolphins in Hell. If animals can't sin, why did they have to
die in Noah's flood? Do ALL dogs really go to Heaven? And
what about all the dolphins? Did Noah bring two dolphins on the
ark? Why? They didn't drown in the flood and they don't rely on
land-based food to survive (not enough that they would have died off
in the year long flood) If dolphins were on the ark, did he also
have to bring two blue whales? And what about...
This is the point that they usually
say, "Thank you for your interest but it would be best if you left
the church now..."
Sunday, 2-10-8
Ok, a short one
here, I'm just watching the news and I had to chime in.
How freaking
AWESOME is it that the Seminole tribe is expanding and now the news
is reporting that people in the surrounding cities are worried about
losing their homes? That is the coolest news I've heard in years!
There were so many quotable lines that I just couldn't keep up. The
local is mayor upset that the casino makes a lot of money and that
the city doesn't see any revenue from that. The Seminoles are
buying up land and they can build WHATEVER they want on it
regardless of local building plans or codes. The outlying mayors
are shitting their pants because they are losing property taxes and
whining that the Indians aren't sharing their wealth with the local
community. I haven't laughed so hard in so long. Oh man, that is
priceless.
We put them on
the shittiest land, when that land proved valuable, we moved them
into the swamp. Now they found a way to make the swamps profitable
and are kicking our ass at our own game. Gods bless them I hope
this gets big! You treat someone like shit long enough, they can
only take so much before they punch back. Sovereign nations are
cool. Especially when they kick the bad guys dead square in the
balls. Maybe I'll look into buying SeaLand and beginning my world
domination conquest. Is it still for sale?
Thursday, 2-7-8
So we all know
from yesterday's post that I am old. I am also dumb as dogshit.
I was in my
truck working on my computer while waiting on an FAA tech. The
truck has two cigarette lighter outlets and I finally got them both
to work. (Replaced a blown fuse) So I had the inverter plugged
into one of them and my iPod charger plugged into the other. I had
to take the cigarette lighter plug out and set it down. When I was
done I thought I remembered that the lighter doesn't work and rather
than removing and replacing it all the damn time why didn't I just
put it in the glove box. I don't smoke and when I do have the
occasional cigar I never use the dash lighter anyway. So I pushed
the lighter in a few times and it just kept popping out so it really
doesn't work. I went to toss it in the glove box and I saw that I
had extra napkins in there and decided that I'd better make sure the
lighter didn't get warm on my few attempts to get it to work. How
did I check it? By sticking my finger right onto the freaking
heater coil. Oh yeah, it was REALLY hot. I've got a nice blister
burn to show for it and right on the pad of my right index finger.
Poor dumb bastard...
Wednesday, 2-6-8
Ok, ok, it's
actually early Thursday morning but the events took place on
Wednesday night so...
I am an old
man. I never really want to admit that and every shred of evidence
just seems to bounce off me until one day I'll realize I'm old, and
just drop dead on the spot. Some of you will remember that scraggly
attempt at a band just before I went on the road full time. A
couple of you just went into uncontrolled shudders... But the bass
player always wanted to get a gig doing "band karaoke". Sounds like
a train wreck huh? Well he finally got it together and they've been
playing Wednesday nights up at 'Brewsters' for the last few months.
They've been asking me to come up and play but most of the time I've
been out of town or having to work midnights. This week I had the
opportunity to go and just about the time I was going to leave the
house I realized; rather than hang out with the guys, drink and talk
to young impressionable groupies, I'd prefer to curl up in bed and
read my book. I am too damn old.
But, I got my
old ass out the door and went out to hang out and play with the
band. It was fun as usual. Sounds the same as it did in my den.
Same songs, same lack or organization. But he's making a go of it
and is having fun. The beer was expensive considering that I've got
some in the refrigerator at home. The girls flirted like usual and
I just passed them along. How long before they stop saying hello to
me at all? Will I miss it? When will one of these empty-headed
molls finally ask me, "Is your son in the band?" Will I even
flinch?
Another event
made me realize I'm aging. I got scared and realized I had put
myself in a bad situation without thinking. A couple of weeks ago I
was leaving a friends house just as dark was setting in for the
night. I had my music up all the way and was singing along. The
traffic was keeping me from pulling out for a few seconds and there
was a guy walking down the sidewalk who was trying to get my
attention. I looked over (turned down the music) and he started to
talk. Right away he assured me that he wasn't a bum and didn't need
money. His car broke down and he needed a ride home. He was going
on about how he would pay me or do some free car repairs at his shop
or whatever... I told him to hop in and tell me where he needed to
go. He was really happy to get a ride because he was recovering
from a broken toe and wasn't looking forward to the long walk. It's
not exactly "common" for me to pick up strangers but it happens once
in a while. Most of them are thankful but relatively quiet. This
guy wouldn't stop talking. He was chatty and couldn't stop talking
like he was on speed or something. He said he was glad I came along
because he could tell I was cool. There's no need to pander I
thought... I called him on his bullshit and asked, "How the hell
could you tell if I was cool or not?" He said, "No one that sings
Frank Zappa lyrics at the top of his lungs can be all bad." Well
okay then, I stand corrected.
So I get down
Spring Park road and I'm starting to get wary because he's still
talking and talking and talking... Isn't that the behavior of
someone who has something to be nervous about? Now we drive down a
residential street and come across the entrance to a public park.
He wants me to turn in there. Now the gears in my head start
turning and it's too late. It's pitch dark out and there are no
lights at the entrance. I reach down into the door pocket and make
it obvious that reaching for something. I can't find anything in
the pocket to make noise and draw attention to me and just as I was
going to give up my finger tips snag a Styrofoam cup. It makes him
look down and I casually place the NOTHING under my left leg. Not
only is it against company policy but if I were to go on to some of
these FAA sites with a weapon I'd go to prison. He says, "Got your
pistol out huh?" I tell him that when you travel as much as I do
you can't be too careful. He agrees and is either completely
innocent or didn't get why I made the effort. He tells me that I
don't have to worry because just after the entrance, it's lit up and
there are always cops around. Sure enough it was and he got out and
thanked me profusely for the ride.
I was
absolutely positive that this guy was going to pull a knife on me or
that his friends would be waiting to jump me. I must have stopped
to help 30 maybe 40 people in the last two years and I've never been
scared. Just another incident that tells me that I am no longer
invincible, I am no longer young.
Damn kids and
their rock and roll... GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
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