September 2006

September 2006

Thursday, 9-28-6

My mind is wandering without me this time. I'm driving along, Rollins is on the iPod. Sonny Rollins this time, not Henry. I don't remember getting on I-10 but I guess that's OK because that's where I'm going... Just play jazz man, play.

I am losing all my preconceived notions of time. I'm not trapped in this time loop anymore. I can escape time itself and be free to roam. The ideas flow freely and at times are overwhelming. Where I exist, there is no time. Of course, when I come back to Earth, time has kept moving and here I find myself behind the wheel of a truck that has moved 50 miles since I last remember being here.

I need to get home.

Fast.

Before whatever drugs I ingested wear off...

Wednesday, 9-27-6

Sitting here in the waiting room.

Hospitals always remind me of the time we visited my Nana when I was young, 8? 9 or 10? Maybe younger, probably older. I don't remember why she was in the hospital, but we were all there to visit her so I guess it was pretty serious. My dad gave me some money and told me to take my little sister downstairs and get lunch. I guess I must have been old enough but I would have sworn I was just a kid. The times were different too. You could let a kid out of your sight for a few minutes back then.

We went downstairs but I didn't know there was a cafeteria in the hospital. I went outside and couldn't see a restaurant. I asked someone and they pointed me to place across the street called "The Recovery Room". It was a bar but I didn't know what that meant. I remember ordering a ruben sandwich and I think Tammy ordered a peanut-butter and jelly. We sat there forever drinking our sodas and the food never came. I played the 'Galaga' video game by the door a few times and sat down. I don't know why/how/who called but dad found us. He yelled at me and took us back upstairs. I remember being mad it him for yelling at me. I only did what he asked me to... I guess he was upset because his mother was in the hospital and his kids were 'missing' but I had no idea about that at the time. I never got my sandwich.

Now I'm sitting here waiting on Teresa. She's behind these dull green and grey walls and her life is in someone else's hands. Trained professionals to be sure, but they don't love her like I do. If they screw up, they have a lot of paperwork to fill out and will call it a bad day at the office but I'll have lost everything I have in this world.

When T went in for (basically) the same procedure, she had a bad reaction and the doctor told me "we almost lost her." I appreciate his honesty but WOW! A few months later, as Becca was being born, Teresa was having complications and they moved her to another room to do the C-section. I don't think I was supposed to follow them into the room but no one stopped me. They were all focused on T and the machines she was hooked up to. I remember it made me nervous that everyone was running. Speed in a hospital meant danger. After getting into the room, I heard the beep go "flat-line".

Could it have been the monitor slipping off? Sure. But by the reaction I saw in everyone's faces and voices, I don't think so. They immediately went into hyper-drive and I began to feel scared. I didn't move and I didn't say anything but I guess someone finally noticed me and in a huff, they kicked me out. On the way out I heard the beep return and the relieved voices of the doctors. Later, the nurse told me it was close to 15 seconds but I remember time stood still for me. It was an hour, it was an eternity. Of course, mother and child survived the ordeal but now I can't help but feel stupid for allowing her to put herself back into this situation. I can't help but be a little angry with her for scaring me like this and I can't help but feel weak when I can't protect her from herself. She wants another baby so badly that I believe that she's willing to die for it.

So now here I sit in the waiting room with strangers. All I want to do is read my book and sip my coffee in peace. The coffee is keeping me company like it always does. It is silent but it sees and hears all. The two ladies by the windows have their own coffees but I know that theirs do not speak to them. They have trendy cups with the paper wrapping on them. Their coffee was polluted with cream, sugar, nutmeg, foam, espresso and unfortunately, they left the rat-poison out this time. The cups are probably empty and they've been carrying them around for days just so everyone knows that they are the kind of people that will spend $4 on a cup of coffee. I know. I saw that on their faces the minute I walked in. Everything about them, telegraphed ahead as if their only existence was for the purpose of providing us all with something to look at. Empty-heads and full bodies, Hollywood fuck-machine types. I wish I had my AK. My coffee is empty again. Time for another cup of hospital-brewed, Styrofoam cup coffee. No trendy StarSchmuck's for me thank you very much....

The strangers over by the door are trying to make small-talk with me. I answer their questions politely but ask none of my own. I just want to sink my head in this book and forget what is going on beyond those dingy walls. I ignore the television the best I can. It was pretty easy to ignore when the bobble-heads were playing soap-operas but now they are gone and a man has the remote. He landed on ESPN for a minute but then he switched it to Fox-News and I am inundated with something they are pretending to call "news".

"Terrell Owens", T.O. to his millions of adoring fans, of which, I am not one, "has attempted suicide. No he hasn't. We don't know if he did or not. No, he did not. Oh yes he did." Who cares? Do you know how many people a day attempt or commit suicide? I don't know but I'm sure it's a lot. Just because guy is a minor celebrity he gets news coverage. That sucks but the part that bothers me is that they report on it before they know what the hell is going on. At first they report that he attempted, then they badger the coach guy who says, "Why are you asking me? I don't know shit!" Then they interview Owens who says it was an allergic reaction or something. Then some girl comes and says nothing happed and gets pissed when reporters remind her that she is contradicting what she told police and paramedics. All of this could have been prevented by just asking Owens himself instead of reporting unknowns like it was a national tragedy. The WTC collapse, that was news. I can understand people trying to get the story quickly. The assassination of Kennedy, same thing. I understand mistakes or premature reporting resulting in errors. A football player looking for attention? Not news. Personally, if I were a sports star or any other kind of minor celebrity and I wanted to kill myself, I'd do it with some flair. If I were Owens and I wanted to suicide, I'd wait until the 2 minute warning in some critical game (Super Bowl?) and when the spotlight was on me and all the hopes of the team winning was on me, I'd pull out the .45 and eat the bullet. Of course, I'd leave the helmet on and aim the gun so the exit wound goes through the team logo; leaving behind a very lucrative eBay situation for some lucky and morbid entrepreneur.

Another school shooting in Colorado. "By another student, nope, by an adult. 4 hostages, no wait, 5 hostages..." Another reporting error by jumping the gun but at least this one valid. Real news of a sort. This disappointment is a human disappointment in myself. I heard that there was a school shooting and I just shook my head and thought, "Happens all the time." How sad is that? A gunman shoots up a school and people are more worried if T.O. is going to play on Sunday.

Hillary Clinton is defending her man on the "Who did more to find BinLaden game" the news channels are playing. Who the fuck cares? Join forces and let's go find him together! Find him, kill him and eat him! Why are we fighting amongst ourselves about who gets more credit? You both tried, you both failed. What we need is to put this on a game show, or as we now call it, "Reality TV". Something like 'Survivor' or 'Fear Factor'. Get four teams, put them in the middle-east and tell them "Whoever returns (alive) with BinLaden's head wins a big-screen-plasma TV and never has to pay taxes again." Keep playing the game until someone wins. Film it and everyone tunes in. Let the people at home text message who they think will be the winner and flash the texts across the bottom of the screen like a news ticker. It worked with sillier ideas than this. The fact that the news people are reporting on something like this sandbox fight about who tried harder just shows how shallow our politicians have become and how pacified as a nation we are. At least the politicians of old pretended to care, now it is all too obvious how little they really care about their stated goals. As long as the cameras get a good angle of me "trying" to accomplish our goals, we don't have to really "do" anything.

Something you may or may not know about me. I always romanticized about being a journalist. I wanted to report from the field, write my own copy, and cover my own stories. I remember learning about Woodward and Bernstein, Murrow, Cronkite and I wanted to do more. Not just be a talking-head anchor but to actually bring the untold stories to the screen by living them.

I always wanted to be a journalist but contrary to popular belief, I still have my soul and it's not for sale just yet.

Tuesday, 9-26-6

A lot of my work is done over conference calls and involves a LOT of initials, abbreviations and acronyms. Anything involving the government involves initials abbreviations and acronyms! Example:

This morning I have bounced back and forth between the PIE/AFSS, PIE/ATCT and PIE/BASOP. INCO MT Josh is at TPA/TRACO waiting to complete the VG6 SA as soon as I complete the SIA. The OPS is claiming I dropped a T1 at ATCT but I was clearly following SAC commands from the RTSC Harris GCSD- FTI tech. I made sure the FTI RPM for ZJX/ZMA and the RIM for ZME/ZTL/ZJX/ZMA were aware of the situation. I am currently on SBT because the FAA TOR is contacting the SOCC POC for the MLB/ATCT. He has to go to the PNOCC to get the key for QYT/RCLR. In the meantime, the ASL for ZMA/ARTCC is in SJU/ATCT doing a full CPE inventory. Hopefully, I will be able to test USI:FTIH-R-019745 soon. I have to remember to charge the R-0514-001TRVTOFRMASO WBS on my DAL because tomorrow is a PTO. Of course, if the MR goes through for MCO TRACO we will complete the DCDs there and I won't have to claim any PTO.

All of the above made perfect sense, I swear. Over a speakerphone and with a few of the techs having heavy Spanish accents, it is sometimes difficult to hear the difference between numbers and letters so a lot of time is spent calling things out by radio alphabet. Alpha, Bravo etc...

I don't like their alphabet. I'm making my own according to bands I listen to:

Anthrax
Blind Guardian
Cradle Of Filth
Dimmu Borgir
Exodus
Frostmoon
Grave
Hecate Enthroned
Immortal
Judas Priest
Kittie
Luciferion
Meshuggah
Nevermore
Opeth
Pungent Stench
Queensryche
Ragnarok
Slayer
Therion
Usurper
Venom
Wintersun
Xysma
Youth Brigade
Zyklon

Do you think they'll let me use it? I don't think so but it may be worth a try. "The Miami ASL, that's Anthrax/Slayer/Luciferion..." Oh yeah, I think I like this a lot better...

Monday, 9-25-6

So, just curious, would you people follow me through another website transition? I found out my free year here is about to expire prematurely. Reasons why are not important but I'll be making a decision on this soon. I thought this was the last move but it looks like I may have to do it all over again... Computer related troubles abound. First iTunes, then the webhosting and now as I leave the house this morning, I remembered what I set out to do this weekend and never even gave it a second thought. I'll think about it all week until I get home and I'll forget about it until Monday again. I need to look into mid-level video editing software and a video input card. I want to get my old Hi-8 tapes digitized and I have some other video I'd like to edit. I was over at Wade's this weekend for his birthday (Happy birthday man!) and he would know what direction to send me in, I just never thought about asking him. My head was in a different world. If I didn't love those people so much I would have never left the house this weekend...

My left elbow has been in pain for weeks now. I got in the truck this morning and I remembered why. As soon as I rested my elbow on the door frame, the pain shot through me. I have been driving the truck almost exclusively these this last month. Normally Heffner drives the highway miles to whichever town/city we are in and I'll do all the 'in town' driving because he doesn't like the way this larger truck corners, parks, etc. Heffner and I are always split up on one job or another now so he's been bringing his own truck. I miss my partner in crime. The road gets lonelier when you've got no one to talk with. Although I do get a lot of my Podcast listening done now.

On the way to Tampa this morning I left early so by the time I hit 301 south of Waldo, it was still early enough to see a misty fog. I was listening to a particular podcast and she was playing "Moodball" by Greenman just as I entered the fog and I cleared the fog just as the song ended. If you could hear the song, you'd know why it felt so cool. It was all drummy and mysticalish.

Her podcast was on the subject of spiritual burnout. I was listening and trying to agree but I just kept coming back to the word lazy. Especially when applied to me. The words "I don't have time" shouldn't be used when it is something you consider important and can get done in a small amount of time almost anywhere. Just as I was speaking these words alone in the truck, she said them as well. So it would seem that I am not alone...

Although, burnout is real enough and will effect everything in your life. I was feeling it badly about a year ago. I was working with a dear friend on spiritual matters when she suggested we pick a deity to work with on a closer, more personal basis. After some research I decided to pick Calliope. I was re-reading 'The Illiad' at the time so the Greek pantheon was fresh in my mind and Calliope is the patron deity of poets. I was drawing blanks on some writing I was doing so while it may have been logical, it felt weird to pick such a "foreign" deity from those that I normally deal with. My choices in gods are a more human/grittier sort. I imagine the Greek gods as impenetrable, flawless marble statues in gleaming shafts of light. A bit fru-fru for me but I made that decision fully aware and indeed because of that stark contrast. I needed something different. Now, it didn't work and I didn't feel any immediate divine inspiration coming from the classical muses. It was like Calliope was screening her calls. She knew I was calling but she let the answering machine get it.
"Thank you for calling, I am away from the phone right now but you can direct all your needs to your regularly scheduled deities"
So it worked in the sense that it woke me up. I felt that kinship with my own pantheon again and I felt the presence of the gods in my daily life again. So burnout-relief and inspiration may come from the more obscure places when you aren't looking for it.

I wonder what cures "road burnout"... Maybe a shitty homelife that you can't wait to escape? Maybe having the 'road warrior' spirit and loving the road? I don't have either. Maybe nothing cures it. I'm not going to last much longer out here alone. I talked with a guy 5 or 6 months ago from the Pittsburgh airspace. He told me not to hold my breath, I haven't heard from him. I put in for a local Jacksonville tech job today. It's the first real possibility I've seen in 2 or 3 months but in the end, it's one of hundreds I've already tried in the last 2 years, I don't expect any miracles. Hell, I don't deserve them.

I chose poorly in the hotel search tonight. I was in a hurry and I didn't want to search around for a good hotel, I figured it's only one night, I just want something close by the airport so I don't have to deal with much traffic in the morning. It's a Days Inn by the airport and shares a parking lot with the 'Bliss Cabaret Gentlemen's Club'. It's a dump. I can hear a guy arguing with his wife/girlfriend/hooker in the hall and the room next door keeps going in and out of their room and the door slams hard enough that I have to look up to make sure it's not my door being kicked in. What the fuck did I expect? I should have searched for the closest Courtyard or Hampton, next time I will. I just wanted a place to lie down and read my book until I fell asleep and had to pull the starter rope on this carousel again tomorrow. I grabbed a quick dinner so I could get back to the hotel, finish my work and jump back into my book. I'm about 100 pages in to Miller's "The Air-Conditioned Nightmare" and I want to finish it tonight. You know that feeling when you're a third of the way into a book and you can't wait to read the rest of it in one sitting even if it takes you until dawn? Well that's what I was feeling up until 20 minutes ago. I forgot to pack the book. I remember putting it on my nightstand last night thinking I would get some reading in but I never picked it back up this morning. So here I sit in a shitty hotel with nothing to read and no one to talk to. There's an elliptical residue on the nightstand by my bed. A bottle of babyoil? Astroglide? I think I'll be sick. Hey, at least there's some GOOD news, the TV reception is so shitty that at least I can resist turning it on and wasting my time...

I did see something interesting today though. I was coming into Tampa on I-75 and there was an ambulance (would the plural of Ambulance be Ambulai?) a ways back and it had its lights on. Of course, I slowed down and pulled into the right lane, so did most everyone else. It took forever to pass me because it was doing 68mph. It had lights and siren wailing and it had a clear road but it never sped up. I took the I-275 turn and there is the ambulance just chugging along blocking the left lane. After a few miles, everyone passed the ambulance because it is holding up traffic. I drove right by it and felt weird passing a lit ambulance but what the hell was he doing? I don't care WHO you are, don't drive slow in the left lane or I get to bash you off the road. [See Emperor Morgan's rule #15]

Sunday, 9-24-6

I really screwed up this weekend. I am a PC-boy by default. I know that Mac has advantages but I just never owned an Apple (if you don't count the Apple 2c) The iPod was my first re-introduction onto Apple and I absolutely LOVE iTunes! I raved about it and recommended it as a player to anyone who asked, even if they didn't own an iPod. That was, until this week. I saw the new update iTunes v7 was out so I downloaded it without thinking twice.

It sucks so far.

I wish I could go back to v6. I'm sure some of it is just getting used to some changes but the one that kicked me in the nuts was EVERY SINGLE ONE of my settings defaulted! Including where my music library is located, how it names files and how it handles purchases.

I now have an Audiobook folder, that's cool except I can't add any of my audiobooks into the folder unless I bought them from Apple!

Games. I've played the games on my iPod like twice now. I don't need them. I don't want them. Why must I see new games available for purchase on the iTunes Music Store? Well, at least they were honest about that one, they took "music" out of the title. Maybe that's a telling sign...

The store is now frustratingly cluttered with shit I don't want and I can't find any way (if there even is one) of turning off the stuff I'll never use.

I have no desire to purchase movies through this format but I am inundated with these fucking things like they were the cure for cancer. Why can't I set iTunes to stop showing me TV, movie and music video files unless I ask for them?!?! Or at least keep them to a minimum.

The video screen I do use is for video podcasts. Now there's a freaking control bar ON the video rather than underneath it. Why?

My scroll wheel on my mouse stopped rolling the iTunes screen up and down. It still works on all my other apps, just not on the new iTunes. I'm sure it's a setting somewhere but I can't find it! I never realized before how often I used the scroll wheel until it doesn't work.

There's a new pattern to when I can and when I can not click the titles to the songs. I haven't figured it out yet but it's KILLING ME!!! I double click, nothing happens. I click once to make sure iTunes is the active application, the background color brightens; good, double click, now the title is highlighted and I'm renaming the song. WTF!?!?!? I'm not stupid and I'm not new to the computer. Why is this happening?

The double click/rename problem is probably related to the fact that iTunes seems to be running MUCH slower now. I don't have a slow computer. I am well beyond the recommended specs, why is iTunes bogging down?

It's probably because it's calling Lars Ulrich and James Hatfield to report me for music piracy (Napster BAD!!!). When I loaded iTunes and finally got it to recognize my library, it scanned every song in my files (took 20 minutes!) to create "gapless playback". A few seconds later it tells me it can download any missing artwork. The first cool feature I've seen. All my old CDs that I loaded will now have artwork because there's NO way I'm scanning in all those covers. Right on! As I tell it to go ahead and get the artwork, it warns me that records will be kept (somewhere, but not by Apple) about every file I have with missing artwork. So, they want me to believe that they scanned my entire music collection without asking and then tell me that they are tracking me? I am not denying it, I may have a song or two on my computer that I have come across for free but who the hell are they to decide which one I got from legitimate free sources and which one I got from the music pirates? Fuck them!

It's time I listened to my friends and check out some of the other cool music apps out there. Sounds like I have outgrown iTunes.

Monday, 9-18-6

Well, well, well, so I made it to 34. No big deal. No great accomplishment right? I've now outlived my last "dead by x" age. I've always had a fascination with death and early on in life I knew death was the only thing I'd get right in this miserable life. As are most teenagers, I was having trouble dealing with just about everything and at times I was borderline suicidal. Not the attention grabbing suicidal. If that's all it was, I would have had a few "attempts" but as it stands, I have no stories of that nature to tell. No, I was actually planning on just going out quietly, no warning and no note, just - gone. The only thing that kept me from actually doing it was the fact that I knew if I tried and failed, my father would have killed me!

So, rather than pull any ill-fated drama, I just decided to have a blast with what time I had and check out early by way of one of the various misdeeds I was engage in. In retrospect, not only is it amazing that I am alive, it is more amazing that I do not have life-long diseases, a lengthy record or a major drug habit. Most of that wasn't luck, it's because I knew how to keep my mouth shut about things, I knew how to keep to myself. Also, I was the most unlikely candidate. Who would suspect that under this seemingly benign, nerdy façade, was orchestrated chaos? I was self-destructive but I hid it fairly well enough that I looked like any other struggling teenager.

With everything as it was; I just knew I was going to be dead by 18. Of course, reality is; life wasn't as bad as we imagine at that age so I changed the plan to be dead by 21. Teresa went and screwed that all up by giving me hope that life was worth living. (Damn it!) I was in love with her and I couldn't imagine wanting to die anymore. Of course, the medications helped with that too. As a goof, I set the new death age as 33 although I had given up on any realization of the goal...

Now that I have outlived 33, I am giving up on my silly little game. I am not setting a new age because I no longer wish for death. I don't fear it, but I don't want to hasten it either. This is just one more piece of my angry youth slipping away and I don't like it but then again, maybe I do... I've still got a few years in me before I'm "OLD". Do you think I'll still be around at 40? Probably not. Stroke, heart attack, something will get me.

Jim Morrison - 27
Janice Joplin - 27
Jimi Hendrix - 27
Keith Moon - 32
Bill Hicks - 32
Cass Elliott - 32
Eazy-E - 32
Alexander The Great - 33
Chris Farley - 33
John Belushi - 33
Jesus Christ - 33
Mozart - 35
Stevie Ray Vaughn - 35
Andy Kaufman - 35
Bob Marley - 36
Marilyn Monroe - 36
Lou Gehrig - 37
Sam Kinison - 38
Dylan Thomas - 39
Malcom X - 39

Sunday, 9-17-6

Today is Teresa's birthday!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!! I LOVE YOU!

OK, now that I feel like Tom Cruise jumping up and down on a couch, let me tell you what a failure I am. I know how she is, I know she's the type to just be happy with a smile and a "Happy Birthday". Because she's never going to tell me what she wants for her birthday, I waited and figured I'd take her out this weekend, we'd have fun and I would let her pick out something she wanted and I'd buy it for her then. Last night on the way to dinner I started to feel an ice-water feeling in the pit of my stomach like this was a bad idea.

Saturday, I dropped the three of them off in front of the restaurant and told them to get the wait time and I would be back. I bolted down to the store and bought something I knew she'd like. After bowling I dropped them off at the house and ran out to get her a card and a few other things. Here I was milling around Wal-Mart at 11:30pm feeling a lot like Al Bundy shopping for his wife's birthday ON her birthday. When I got home it was 11:59 so I ran in to be the first to say "Happy Birthday".

I knew My plan for Sunday would have worked and she would have been happier with that plan too. But I chickened out and was just too afraid to have her wake up on Sunday with nothing from me. I'm such a loser..

Wednesday, 9-13-6

Sitting here on a conference bridge, trying to figure out our telco/router problems. There's a lot of "wait" time. There's 5 grown men on the line, all from very different backgrounds, and for some reason we're talking about Britney Spears. I remain silent because I have very little to add to this "think tank". The absurdity of 5 grown men discussing something that is probably in "Tiger-Beat" magazine. (They still have that right?) One guy is defending her; everyone else is just talking the talk. A lot of talk about her 'Vanity Faire' cover, a little talk is about her music but most of it is about her image. The guy defending her makes the mistake of comparing her to Madonna. At that point I have to chime in.

I am not a Madonna fan but I do recognize that not only does she have singing talent; this chick sells her image well. She is a business-savvy woman and she knows how to turn the music industry on its ass. Britney is a fluke. She was the prettiest girl in the trailer park. They slapped an image on her and propped her up in front of a microphone. The only thing I've seen her do well is dance and even then, it looked like a bad aerobics class. Her handlers didn't do such a hot job on promoting her after she lost the 'girl-next-door' image did they? That's because she can't sing! Madonna changes her image every 20 minutes and she's still selling. Why? She can sing.

I've listened to Britney's CDs, there is very little singing on it. Most of it is background vocalists and her occasional guttural "ooohhh yeaaahhhahhhahhhahh" turning one note into 15 notes. We have dubbed it the "ghetto yodel". That's hot when Aretha Franklin or Chaka Kahn does it. It's forgivable when Mariah Carey does it. It's annoying when Pink and Christina Aguilera do it. When Britney tries it, I want to run screaming and hide under my bed until she goes away. What little she does sing is covered by effects on her voice and is pitch corrected by computers. All the smoke and mirrors is masked by loud impulsive music that goes on around her. She's eye candy and the world has had enough of her. I hope she saved the money because she'll be making a "Best Of" CD soon enough, the kiss of death for most artists.

A little more than a one-hit-wonder but still far less than meaningful. We can't quite lump her in with Hanson and Kajagoogoo but the next person that compares her to Madonna is taking a shot to the neck.

Tuesday, 9-12-6

I drive a lot better than I used to. At least on the highway. In town I'm still "all or nothing". Stop and Go; and "go" had better be to the limit as quick as possible. I don't have time to speed up gradually and I definitely don't have time for the morons in front of me to speed up gradually! I'm sure that if we calculated the time spent at gas stations because of my impulsive driving we'd find that I'm actually losing time and money, but don't confuse me with facts!

Although I do still find myself speeding from time to time, now I try to keep it within reason. There was a time I held the points lead for speeding tickets and for percentage of paycheck given back to the state in fines but no more! At least not as much...

On highways I normally drive the "bird dog" approach. Let the guy in front of me run fast and I'll just keep him in sight and run slightly slower; that way he'll get pulled over before me and I'll be able to slow down.

The only minor flaw I saw in this was the speed trap. 1 cop with radar and 10 runners. They'd get me, but I'm almost never speeding near traps because they run them in the most obvious of places.

This morning, on my way back into Gainesville, I was driving down 301, running hot in the FHP-Zones and I realized the fatal flaw in my theory. When the cops run en masse, I've heard it called the "Wolf Pack". How do wolves hunt? How do most wild animals hunt? They drive the herd and pick off the weak, the sick and the slow. So is it possible that if I'm running behind my bird-dog car that I am actually making myself MORE vulnerable? He's running 75mph, I'm running 70mph and the limit's 65. I'm still speeding and still subject to punishment. I had better re-think this theory.

I call the area between towns on 301 the FHP-Zones because the local cops don't really care about these areas. Why nail someone for doing 70 in a 65 when they can get you as you enter their town? There they can get you for doing 70 in a 45 because there's no slowing from 65 to 55 to 45. Just 65 to 45.

Lawtey, Starke, Hampton and Waldo got called out on their speed-trap tactics and now they are claiming to be concerned about safety. The cops in these towns are VERY safety conscious and are VERY concerned for passing motorists. So concerned in fact that they hide behind buildings in unmarked cars to be sure we are driving safely. They want to make sure that the blind corner that goes from 65mph to 30mph (15mph during school times) is safe. You know; if they are so concerned for the public safety, why the hell would they put a school crossing 10 yards from a major road and on a blind corner anyway?!?!

They run in their unmarked cars to tag us and then roll out the actual police cruiser from behind the building to run us down. It would seem that instead of hiding the cruiser, leave it parked out where every one could see it. I always see traffic behave best when they see a cop car. But no, they are hiding the speed deterrent until they've caught us. All in the name of highway safety.

One of the best one-liners I've heard (situational) was when Thom and I were working in Lawtey with Max; our local "good-ol-boy" sales rep. Max introduced us to the local constabulary as he got out of his unmarked Ford Taurus. Thom asks, "Does your Mom know you are driving her car?" That (among a few other gems) is why Thom stopped working with our Starke/Lawtey office and worked more central to Jacksonville.

Monday, 9-11-6

Driving around the outskirts of Gainesville and there's a lot of railroad crossings. I saw a truck stopped at a crossing that wasn't lit and the gate was up and I was wondering why until I saw the locomotive crossing the road. I guess those gates and lights don't work every time. Kind of scary how much we rely on them. I look both ways at the crossing but only out of habit and most of the time it's while I'm on the rails and it would be too late.

Last year I was zipping around the hills of Pennsylvania with Jerry and since we had just visited the winery, I was driving. I blew past a few train crossings because they have no crossings lights or gates, just tracks on the road. I came around one corner and in the distance I saw there was a freight train running at top speed across the road so I slowed down and stopped. When I reached the train crossing, my heart stopped. There were no lights or gate here either.

I asked Jerry about it and he said that this was the same rail line we've already crossed 3 times (winding around the mountains and all), they don't use warning lights or gates out here in the country. My knuckles turned white and I thought I was going to be sick. I'm a city boy now. The only railroad crossings I see without warnings are in the industrial sections of town and there they inch across the road when they come. I grew up in a tiny town not far from a railway switchyard but there were lights and gates even on our little street. I may not have always obeyed them but they were there! (BTW, a train will cut your bicycle cleanly in half if you drop it on the tracks while trying to climb between the moving trains.) I asked Jerry why he didn't tell me this earlier while I was flying over the tracks without any fear. He said he figured I knew. Scared the hell out of me.

Sunday, 9-10-6

Last night, we went out and had some fun. We came home and had a lot more fun. This morning, Teresa's neck is covered in marks. I had forgotten how easily she bruises. I feel really bad because the darkest one is close to the front of her neck and it is going to be hard to hide. I hate hickeys because they look so "low-rent". I told her she looks like the 19 year-old Wal-Mart cashier, she knew exactly what I meant but she reminded me that it was my fault.

One good thing came of this though. She has an expensive salon-quality hair straightener that stopped working a few months ago. She said if it were still working she could straighten her hair and hide the marks a lot easier. So I tore it apart and fixed it. I had to use a few items that I had just lying around waiting for me to figure out how I was going to use them. She calls me a pack-rat but this is the 3^rd or 4^th time in the last few months that I have been able to do a really nice repair job using what I had lying around the house. Of course, since this one is my fault, I don't think I'll get credit for it.

Monday, 9-4-6

I was watching a show last night on the Ark of the Covenant. There were some interesting ideas on it and the show was pretty good overall. The only TV I really get to watch are shows like this after I go to bed. So you can imagine Teresa's concern when around 12:30a I screamed at the TV. I didn't really yell any words other than, "ahhhhh!" What I had heard was so scary that I actually just made the noise to get it out of my head. She bolted upright in bed and by then I was yelling actual words at the TV so she knew I was just throwing another fit.

There were archeologists, physicists, theologians and others talking about if there was an actual ark and if it was a real item, what powers it would be capable of. The main focus of the segment I saw was the ability to kill by electrocuting people that touch it. The consensus is that a lot of factors came together and created a giant capacitor. A capacitor is something that stores electricity. The gold plating, the dry desert air, constantly being rubbed under a wool blanket. All these things built up a huge amount of static electricity and when someone would touch it with their bare hand, BAM! They got the shock of their life. They tell their friends, they tell two friends and they tell two friends... It's not hard to imagine how this guy getting knocked on his ass becomes him getting killed because he touched a forbidden holy relic.

Dig this, the theologian's argument against this is:

"Electricity wasn't discovered until 300 years ago, not 3000 years ago so it couldn't be a giant capacitor."

Oh I see, until Newton "discovered" gravity we all just floated around?
Until Columbus "discovered" North America there was no one here?

I'm sure these people saw lightening, maybe even saw it hit trees or people. Was there no static electricity back then? Why is it so hard to imagine that they can get shocked? Circular logic is dangerous when it reaches this level.

So I'm already running on steam from this idiotic line of reasoning when the "Scientist" steps in. I'm rooting for the scientist because he's going to put these people right... right?

He says, "As a scientist, I have to use facts, not guesses." OK, cool, now I'm ready for the cold facts man...

"The Ark could not have been a giant capacitor because the Bible does not say that is what it is for."

At this point a piercing, banshee-like scream escaped my lips and that's about all I remember...

Teresa woke up and found my trembling body passed out on the floor. She was only able to revive me hours later and asked what happened. I told her that I saw the end. I witnessed the coming of the end of the world. The refutation of facts based on playground logic.

We can expect our top scientists to start arguing like school children would. Scholars from MIT and NASA will debate with lines like "You're ugly!" "Not-ah!" "Oh yes you are!" "Why?" "Because you are!"

I guess it's a good thing, we have now discovered a new number. "Infinity plus one". Of course, this was quickly followed up with the discovery of "Infinity plus infinity" This would have gone on for a while but the good professor quickly won the debate by throwing his toy at his opponent and running away yelling, "You're a stupid-head!"

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Last Updated: 05/10/07 11:44 a