May 2005

Thursday, 5-26-5
(Posted 6-9-5)

Got back last night from hitting all four Disney parks in 4 days. Some more than once.

I don't know why they bill this place as "The Happiest Place on Earth". Most of the kids I saw were crying and most of the adults looked beaten down. Muttering in some foreign language and dragging their miserable, mutated child-spawn behind them in an effort to have "fun". In search of $500/day worth of fun. The parents determined to get their money's worth out of the park at all costs, even if it means running their kids into the ground. You could see the terror in these kid's eyes as their overlords force them into submission-induced enjoyment. "You will have fun or die trying!!!", they seem to be saying. I can't be sure though because I'm not fluent in Klingon.

I know I'm not an expert or even close, but I swear some of these people weren't speaking any known human language. Maybe they were religious people experiencing the "miracle of the mouse" for the first time and they were speaking in tongues? Maybe they were aliens that were sent here to learn the ways of our planet before launching an attack? Maybe, maybe not. In any case, it sounded like they were making it up as they went so Lizzy, Becca and I started to speak in babble talk to each other. We even started to talk to other people that way. Teresa was not amused.

As we stood in the lines I couldn't help but think, "wouldn't it be great if, at random, they handed people spear guns as we entered the park?" And you could use them on someone in line? That British couple complaining about the heat. The dirty kids behind you running into your butt for the 20th time. (You'd think they'd have gotten the hint when I stepped backward and stood on their toes until they cried) Maybe it's that overweight slob dressed like Britney Spears. Maybe it's the teenagers that insist on cutting in line and pretending that they are trying to catch up with their Mom in line....
You can shoot anyone you want, but you only get one shot. That would make it a little more interesting would it not? I mean, we're standing here and behaving in line, acting like cattle being led to the slaughter, shouldn't they offer us something interactive? Disney is supposed to be the leader in the entertainment industry isn't it? Ohhh and then leave the harpooned victims where they fall as a warning to others.... Yeah!

We hit a few new rides.
"Mickey's PhilharMagick" is pretty cool. Most of the 3-D movies in the parks are rather bland and predictable. This one was pretty cool. We normally skip the 3-Ds, I'm glad we went in to see this one.

The "Dinosaur" ride was rough and wild but still, it sucked. It was very much like the rides at Universal Studios. The girls insisted we go on it again. Ugh.

"Primeval Whirl". I hate this ride. Not because of the ride, but because of me. I'm getting too old for this stuff. It started out cool. It's a recreation of the old-time amusement park type of ride. Cheesy effects like hubcaps and painted over license plates for signs. Very cool. Made me feel like I was back home at Riverside Park in Massachusetts. It's a small roller coaster and had all of us laughing and screaming in fun until... About half way through the ride, they trip a lever that lets the car free-spin. Imagine Space Mountain mixed with the Mad Tea Cups. Every sharp corner you hit gets the car spinning faster and you can't control the spin. We had to ride this one 3 times... I'm getting sick just remembering it now.
Of course we had to hit the actual Mad Tea Cups because Daddy/Uncle Chris is the master of the spinning cups. I told the girls that it was the last time for me. I held their hands and told them I was passing on the ancient secrets of the Mad Tea Cups to them. Now they're on their own. When did I get so old? I don't like the dizzy feeling anymore.
Well, that's not totally true. In EPCOT we hit Germany for lunch and did enjoy that dizzy feeling there. Later that day, we parked ourselves in Mexico around 6:00 and Teresa had her Margaritas until the laser/fireworks show at 9:00.

"Soarin" was cool. They put you in rows of chairs and lift you off the ground up to a huge screen. The premise is you are hang gliding through California. They pump in the cedar smells as you swoop through a forest, they spray mist on you as you swoop under the Golden Gate Bridge. It was cool but a little too real for Teresa. She doesn't like the suspension feel. With nothing under her feet to brace herself, she felt like she was falling the whole time. Oops.

We happened to go the same week they had "Star Wars Weekend" at MGM. Morons running around in Jedi robes and Stormtrooper costumes in 90degree heat. And I'm not talking about the Disney employees, these were people coming through the gates. I told Teresa that if I get hit with a lightsaber one more time, I'm going to unleash the power of the Dark Side all over someone. We decided to wait to go to MGM until Monday when there were less morons, or at least less obvious morons.
When we were walking to the Stunt Show (very cool BTW) out popped Darth Vader, flanked by two Disney-uniformed people, right in front of us. Cool! Becca goes up to get her picture taken and before she can take the 3 steps to him, he was mobbed by 30-40 people. Becca got pushed to the side and never got the picture. The only people that got their pictures taken were those that pushed and screamed their way over top of everyone else. Fully grown adults trampling little kids to get their picture taken with a fictional character. Knocking other kids out of the way to get their kid to the front. Disgusting and rude. I guess the guy in the Vader suit felt the same way because after a few poses, he turned to walk away from the mob. A couple of kids were pulling on his cape. He jerked and turned around with his fist out. You could tell that the guy just wanted to knock this little bastard out. Man it must be great to be in the "bad guy" suit. You can threaten the bratty kids and it's all part of the act. You'll never see Mickey do that.

We hit most of the standards however we did miss the Living Seas. Bummer.
We got on the Aerosmith roller coaster and the Tower of Terror 8 or 9 times each. Tower was funny because Becca would freak out every time we got into line but demanded to go again even before the ride stopped moving at the end. Of course, as soon as we got back in the line she'd start freaking out again.

All in all we had a great time. In spite of all the problems inherent with Disney, (expensive, hot, long days, etc...) I really can't stay away from that place. One of these days I'll go and be able to spend the day as I want to. Just walking around and enjoying all the little side shows. The barbershop quartets on Main Street, the African drummers in EPCOT, stuff like that. I'd also love to spend the day just watching the people, all the while not caring if I actually get on a ride myself. Quite an expensive way to "people watch" but where else am I going to see foreign and domestic tourists paying through the nose and standing in excruciatingly long lines, just to get screwed by a mouse?

Friday, 5-20-5

Never underestimate how much others do for you before you get excited that they didn't do it the way you wanted it done. Do it yourself if it's that critical.
Did you follow me on that one? OK, good.

You're going to love this one. I'll file this under "lesson learned for taking individuals for granted"
As you may have read, I finally decided to sell something on eBay. I started out small and simple. A WorldCom hat I had left over from doing my time there. I put it up for bid at two dollars. I got a $2.50 bid and it finally ended at $7.50. Not bad for a hat I got for free. Maybe there's something to this, maybe I'll look into dumping all kinds of stuff on eBay. Over the years I've spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on eBay, why not try to make a little money from it now?

OK, so the guy sends me $11.64 to cover the $7.50 + shipping. Groovy, bagged a profit and rid myself of a bit o' clutter. I boxed it up, wrote out the address and printed out the sheet explaining that $11.64 - $7.50 = $4.14 for shipping. Teresa was taking the day off yesterday to attend Becca's classroom activities. I asked if she wouldn't mind taking it to the post office. No problem.

Last night, I asked her if she remembered to ship it. She said of course. I asked how much it cost. I calculated it by the USPS website but I was still hoping it was maybe a few cents cheaper thereby widening my profit margin. Hey, when I went through all of this for $7.50, I want all I can get.
She didn't respond when I asked how much it cost. Bad sign. She just grinned. Worse sign. She started to give me the nervous giggle. Worst sign.
She went in, the guy asked if she wanted it sent priority overnight and with signature verification. She said, "Sure, why not?" Then the guy charged her $17.65. She was too shy to question it. She paid it.
So, in the end, I paid this guy six dollars to take my hat. It was cheaper when I was BUYING stuff on eBay!

Poor Teresa begged me not to put this story up here but I saw it as a way to warn the rest of you. If someone does something nice for you like run your errands on her day off, you can't get upset if it wasn't done the way you wanted to do it. You've just got to smile...

Thursday, 5-19-5

Star Wars III (part 6) opens tonight. I may take Becca for a ride a look at all the freaks lined up outside the theatres. I didn't think we'd have any here in Jacksonville but the news is reporting that we do. I'd love to actually go see the movie but if I have to sit next to a wookie, someone is going to die. I'm a huge Star Wars fan from way back. I could go on and on but luckily for you, I won't. As big a fan as I am, the only time I ever dressed up as a Star Wars character was for Halloween when I was 8 or 9. I really want to go see it, I just don't want to be collectively lumped in with these "fans". I'll wait a week or so until it's safe.
Some of the Darth Vader mystique is gone. I used to be impressed by him. Even after they took his mask off in Jedi and revealed a feeble, crusty old man, it fit the part. He was a big scary villain and I loved him for it. Now, I see Hayden Christensen and he's not 7' tall. He's not even scary or likeable. He's a crappy actor and now that I know he's the one behind the suit, it's lost some of it's magic. That and the fact that they have him staring down the Burger King in commercials.... Not that David Prowse was much of an actor but we never saw him. (BTW, he was the body guard for the writer guy in the wheelchair in A Clockwork Orange just before the "Singing In The Rain" scene) I'm just afraid that even James Earl Jones' voice can't make up for the fact that Hayden is such a wimp and we all know it.

I'm looking forward to the movie. It must have been difficult to write this part of the story. He had a beginning and an end already, he just had to throw some things in the middle to make them match. Kill off characters that are in #2 and not in #4 and introduce characters that are in #4 but not in #2. Do you think we'll be lucky enough to see Jar-Jar drawn and quartered? Maybe the ship crashes and they are stranded. Suddenly, Anakin finds a cookbook for Gungan meat! OK, maybe not. It's a predictable movie, we know what has to happen, we can even expect how he's going to pull it off. The trailers show exciting scenes but we know they are teasers. You can't fool us George, we've seen #4 already, Obi Wan doesn't die in #3!
Just show the love turning to hate going on in Anakin, kill off Padme (please?), give the people their "Harry Potter" scene where Obi Wan delivers the infant Luke and Leia, kill off most of the Jedis, show the decisive battle where Anakin gets disfigured and end the film with Vader bowing to the emperor or something. I mean come on, anyone who's seen the other films could have written this one. In any case, I hope I enjoy it.

OK, as long as I'm complaining already, I have an observation that needs a believable answer. According to the dialogue, the Millennium Falcon jumps into light speed to travel through hyperspace. Blue 'flames' shoot out the back and away they go. Very cool looking and I'm willing to suspend disbelief for this so far. The problem comes when they get where they are going. Again, according to the dialogue they just cut the sub-light engines. Well, wouldn't they continue to coast along at that same speed? What slows them down? There are no retro-rockets on the front of the Falcon. They'd have to turn 180 and fire the engines again wouldn't they? And another thing, why do the stormtroopers bother to wear the armor if they get killed in one shot anyway? Sorry, had to get them out, I know better than to question the physics of a fictional realm....

Wednesday, 5-18-5

I was watching a lot of TV last night. I do that about once every few weeks I'll just lose myself in the TV. The rest of the time, I never even turn it on (until I go to bed).
Last night, I did something else that I try not to do. I watched a movie on TV. I normally steer away from this simply because I know what's coming, they'll cut it or ruin it in some way. So, if I want to watch a movie, I normally turn to the DVDs.

As expected, I have just seen another reason for me to stay away from the TV.
AMC, American Movie Classics. I thought I was safe there. It's not like I was watching a movie on the main networks or anything. I haven't seen "In the Heat Of The Night" in a long time. So when I saw it was on, I started watching it.
The next scene was the warehouse when the 4 or 5 rednecks attack Tibbs and Gillespie steps in to stop them. Redneck #1 comes forward and says to Gillespie, "You get that nigger out of here or we will!" I was shocked to hear the silence (and bad editing) when they cut that most infamous of words out of the film.

Isn't that word the whole point of the movie? When it comes down to it, and you boil away everything else, isn't the whole crux of the movie the fact that Tibbs was seen as a nigger and not as a cop? If you take out that word, you lose the credibility of the whole film. It was not gratuitous profanity, it was the whole reason the film was made in the first place!
People have become so afraid of that word now that even in it's proper settings and context it is being removed. Yes, It's an inflammatory word and highly inappropriate but to eliminate it from it's place in our history...
It reminds me of the scene in "The Family Guy" cartoon where the German tour guide responds to the question of why there is no mention of history between 1933 and 1945. He says, "everyone was on vacation!" I guess if we are ashamed of our history we can just sweep it under the rug? Doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Something about learn from history or be doomed to repeat it...? Right.
If that word is successfully eliminated from history, movies and books, what have we learned? Haven't we weakened the image of what the blacks have had to struggle against? I mean if the rednecks in "Heat Of The Night" didn't call Tibbs names and threaten to kill him, what the hell is he fighting against? Change the future, not the past. Don't use the word any more but don't pretend it was never used. Going back and removing it is just an insult.
100 years from now kids in a classroom will look back on the civil rights movement and ask, "What's the big deal? I don't see any evidence of racism." The teacher's only response will be, "That's because we burned all the books."

I'm almost afraid that someone will chastise me for typing it out here on the web and not bowing down to the PC police and using n****r or something as ridiculous as referring to it as "the N word". Yeah, imagine that line in the movie. "You get that n-word out of here or...." Yeah, that would work huh?
In a day where hearing the nefarious "7 dirty words" is more common than hearing "proper English" spoken aloud, are we really reverting back to adding an 8th word to the list?
S, P, F, C, CS, MF, T and now N. George Carlin is going to have to revise his stand-up routine.

Sunday, 5-15-5

Happy birthday Dad! 57 years old and losing parts....

Wednesday, 5-11-5

I've recently been reading the newspaper again. Teresa signed us up for home delivery again and I've been trying to read it so I don't see it as wasted money. I normally get my news from the news websites but I have noticed a slight difference in reading the paper.
The newspapers are there for the "Johnny Carson Effect". The funny and confusing headlines; dangling participles and such. Yeah, maybe Leno really started this but I hate Leno so much that I refuse to credit him with it.
So I'm reading and in one paper I came across three of them.

"Newly published book by Shel Silverstein was written before his death."
Well, posthumous publishing is fairly common but posthumous writing is a little harder to pull off.

"Council for the Deaf wants public hearing."
Couldn't they have worded this one a little differently? It's like they are trying to be funny.

"After his death, man robs Riverside convenience store clerk."
How does this get through an editor? There are two people that have jobs that need to be removed and taught remedial English; the person who wrote that and the editor that let it pass through. How did that sentence even get written? It would have been much easier to just type it out as, "Man kills then robs Riverside convenience store clerk".

Journalism is dead. Any story I read has an agenda to make me feel one way or the other. What ever happened to reporting the FACTS and letting me make up my own mind? In my journalism class back in junior high school they taught us to be completely unbiased. To give fair play to both sides of the story. I don't see that anymore in any news media. Everyone has chosen sides. It's hard to tell what the real news is anymore. This network reports that everything the President does is wrong, this network reports that everything the President does is right... With statistics being skewed every which way, news programs targeting public figures and then reporting on some Hollywood celebrity's wedding/baby/divorce as if it were a REAL news story! I'm sick of having to wade through the fodder. Having to decipher what is real news, what is fluff, and what is political slander. I'm just wishing for a perfect world where important events are reported with a little respect. Respect for the person they are reporting on and some much needed self respect for their own journalism. Keep dreaming.

Tuesday, 5-10-5

Every morning and every afternoon I pass the same fields on the way to and from my job. Last summer it was full of corn. Tall and green, darkening to brown and then one day, it was gone. That morning I drove by a field of stubble. The corn stalks were 4" long and uniform for as far as I could see. Over the next few weeks, the farmer plowed up the field again and throughout the winter, it remained a crusted dirt field.
This spring, the field was freshly plowed and rowed. I drove by and noticed the rich dark soil. I could smell the earth as I got closer to the farm. Over the last week, I have seen the beginning growth of the new crop.
At first, it was barely noticeable. It was the same brown field but there was something different about it. When I looked closer, I saw the faintest signs of green poking up through the rows.
The following day, as I drove by, the field was still brown but there was a green hue to it. You still had to look closer to see the sprouts but they were gaining ground.
Within the week, there was a definite green covering to the field. Almost like peach fuzz. The crop is growing and gaining strength.
This morning, the field was green. No doubt to it, you have to look hard to see any of the brown of the earth anymore.
It will continue like this until the field grows tall and strong. It will be a corn field again, just like it was last summer. The cold and barren winter had it's way with the field and new life sprouts fresh from it's clutches. The field will enjoy a period of growth and abundance until the harvest.
When the crop has grown all it can, the cycle will repeat itself. I will drive by one day and it will all be gone. The hearty crop will be reduced to field stubble again. The winter will creep in and harden the earth. In the spring, the farmer will freshen the field and ready the earth to grow again.
The cycle of life will continue to for as long as the farmer tends his fields.

Monday, 5-9-5

Becca and I spent all weekend pampering Teresa for Mother's Day. We went out to the Zoo, the beach, dinner, anywhere T wanted to go. We were coming back from the beach and had a little more excitement than we expected.
It was bumper-bumper traffic coming down Beach Blvd. A young woman (18/19?) in the right lane rolled down her window and asked if she could get in front of us. Teresa said she could and rolled up her window. I joked with her and said, "You really should check with me on those type of things, I'm driving! Besides, she's driving daddy's new Jaguar, she can afford to wait!" Traffic started moving and I let her in front of me. She didn't just take the lane, she turned left in front of me. The guy coming along in the turning lane on my left never even hit his brakes.
After thinking about it, he should have seen her. She was 8-10' in front of my bumper and took the turn slow enough that he should have seen her. Maybe not in time to keep from hitting her but at least in time to hit the brakes. Anyway, he didn't.
He hit her just in front of her door and went up into the air. He came down on the driver's side and rolled up onto his hood and slid for 30 feet or so. It looked just like the intro to "The A-Team". I pulled forward out of traffic, jumped out and ran to the truck, T pulled out her cell and called 911. Some lady and I pulled the guy out of the flipped Jeep's window. He kept trying to wander around into traffic, I had to almost yell at him to get him to stay on the median. When someone else got him, I returned to the truck. Everyone was yelling that there had to be someone else in the truck. We pulled him out of the right side of the vehicle, the driver must still be in there! After searching inside for a minute or so we saw that there was no one else in the vehicle. He must have been tossed around inside and thrown to the passenger side. At dinner that night it dawned on me, when a vehicle is upside down, the driver side IS on the right side! Duh!
After we found no one else inside the truck, I asked how the girl was doing. No one had checked on her yet! The woman that helped me pull the guy out of the truck was standing by the Jag with the guy's blood all over her so every one thought that was the girl in the Jag. Teresa ran over to her and started to calm her down. She's just sitting in the car crying hysterically. The cops and paramedics showed up in record time. They took over and we left as soon as they got my information, didn't want to be in the way.

This brought a prejudice to my mind that I knew I had but now it has become crystal clear. The girl was clearly at fault. Maybe the guy was going a little fast, maybe he should have seen her, I don't know but it was definitely the Jag girl's fault. However, I keep finding myself trying to defend her and blame the guy. No logical reason. The fault lies completely in my own perceptions. The guy had tattoos on his hands.
I'm prejudiced against people with visible tattoos. As much as I hung out at the tattoo shop and as many people as I know with tattoos, it doesn't make sense, but I am. You can have all the tattoos you want but as soon as they are on your face, neck or hands, I immediately see you as a whole different class. And a lower class at that. The only exception I can think of is a Maori warrior or a Samoan. The face tats look cool and they are there for a deeper reason. Anything else is trashy. I refused food at a drive through once because the chick had a name tattooed on her neck. People like that have already made bad decisions in their lives and are prone to making more bad decisions. I don't want them handling my food. I know, I'm judging them by my own ideals and I probably shouldn't. Too bad. My food, my choice.
The driver of the Jeep Cherokee in the accident had tattoos on each of his knuckles and on his hands and arms. It was his buddy's truck and I just keep thinking that, afterward, when he saw the Jaguar all he saw was dollar signs. Unfair of me to make assumptions like that. The guy's probably a nice guy for all I know. He was yelling and saying some bad things at the time but I think we have to consider the circumstances before we condemn him on that.
All that aside, I still think of him as the bad guy even though HE was in the clear here. I have to eradicate these weakness'. I can't go around thinking these things about people I don't know. I'm used to be like that, wanting to be different just for the sake of being different but how far do you take it? I can't imagine getting a tattoo that didn't mean something to me. So maybe these people are sincere. Maybe putting "Limp Bizkit" on your neck has a deeper spiritual meaning. Maybe having a skull tattooed on the back side of your hand brings these people inner peace. I don't know and I shouldn't judge. Right?

Friday, 5-6-5

May began well enough. Last Saturday on Beltane, I brewed up a big batch of mead. It'll take 6 months to a year before I know if I did it right. That's a long time to wait to know how to tweak the recipe. I'm looking forward to seeing if I did this right or not and I'd like to be able to start a new run right away but I can't until I see how the first run turned out.
When I cooked it up, the honey impurities boiled up over the pot and went all over the stove. I didn't realize until yesterday that the honey had gotten under the burners and into the oven. Teresa called me at work to let me know that when she tried to cook dinner, the whole house smelled like burned honey. I spent almost 3 hours today cleaning the stove and oven today.

I keep promising myself that I would update the site today but now that I have the wireless router working, I'm sitting here in the big comfy chair with the laptop and falling asleep every time I get started. This is what I keep telling my father when he says he wants a laptop. "You'll never get out of that chair again!"
I've had the HTML editor open for 5 hours now and instead I'm sitting here flipping through the channels on the stupid TV. I hate that thing. I really wish I were strong enough to turn it off but I just can't. I mean, really, how many times will I get a chance to watch "Drumline"? UGH! I hate this movie. Not for all the reasons all the web critics hated it for though. Everyone hates this because they say it's "too urban" or that the sticking didn't match the audio. It's true, it was badly preformed but these were actors, not drummers. It was a movie, not a documentary. The reason I hate this movie is because it pointed out to me that I was avoiding movies and music for all the wrong reasons. When Fred and I saw the preview, both of us being drummers, we had the same reaction. " I really want to see that, but I don't want anyone to know I want to see it". So I went to see it and it really is a horrible movie! I should have trusted my instincts. I hate this movie because it made me think that pop movies can be good and then let me down again. I should sink back into my hatred and loathing of everything new...

Onward to June 2005 Back to Updates